Moderator: Your message for Ahmed?
Trump: It’s an OK clock, just OK
Jeb: A que hora es?
Cruz: Papers plz
Carson: Only God can master time
— Alan Scherstuhl (@studiesincrap) September 16, 2015
Happy ad-blocking day, Apple users! iOS 9 is out, and media Twitter is a-gripe with feelings about it. Casey Johnston set the stage a few days ago in The Awl, making the case that ad blocking will force everyone onto platforms like Facebook. Today Nilay Patel added the observation that “the web” is effectively just Google’s platform already, and iOS ad blocking is fundamentally about Apple vs. Google, not you or I or everyone we know. Ben Thompson considered what might supplant Google-scale web ads, should that become necessary, while Mathew Ingram agrees with Casey Johnston that a lot of small publishers will die, but doesn’t really care. The charts are out and the ad blockers are quite popular, with Marco Arment’s ($2.99) “Peace” app at number one this morning. Apple blogger and John McClane’s most famous film victim John Gruber yesterday saw “the fact that Daring Fireball’s revenue streams should remain unaffected by Safari content-blocking as affirmation that my choices over the last decade have been correct”, but today seems somewhat miffed that ad blockers have the temerity to block his ads too. I guess it never occurred to him you that could block anything set in Futura.
Matt Damon doesn’t always interrupt black women, but when he does you bet it’s to ex/man/white/splain diversity to them. He’s just glad to finally start this conversation! Everyone was waiting for you to do it, bro. Snake people: Elite Daily has the worst advice ever for you. The second of 93 planned Republican primary debates happened last night, and the clear winner was Ann Coulter’s anti-semitism. A close runner-up was Carly Fiorina, who came prepared with clear, forceful, and articulate talking points from the completely alternate reality she inhabits. Second runner-up was this guy in the audience, and the main policy takeaway is that everyone wants to roll back the 14th amendment.
Cat Ferguson investigated the shady side of sunny Florida’s booming addiction rehab industry. Staffing changes at the NY Times Mag include ex-Grantland film critic Wesley Morris taking over cultural criticism, Jen Senior taking over books from Janet Maslin, and Kwame Anthony Appiah becoming the only Ethicist, having defeated all the pretenders to the Iron Throne of Ethics in the blood-ring. Also Ana Marie Cox will take over Talk.
Vijith Assar on being a brown nerdy kid in the South:
This is your education system, America. You’ve been doing this to minority kids forever; it’s not Islamophobia fueled by September 11th, it’s just how things are, and have always been. This is your America, America.
Today’s Quiz: I only got 9 of 17 right in this fiendishly difficult “Bukowski Poem or Porn Title” quiz.
Today’s Terrible Song: Ryan Adams covering “Bad Blood” is seriously the worst thing.
Today’s Song: Thom Yorke, “Villain.”
~We hope your tabs and wisdom choke you~
Today in Tabs was illustrated today with gifs from Peter Quinn’s Fake UI Toys for After Effects. Thanks to Fast Company and to you for subscribing and coercing everyone you know into subscribing as well. Just do what it takes, only God can judge you.