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Fruit Of The Loom Says You’ll Be Happier And Wealthier If You Tuck Your Shirt In

Fruit Of The Loom Says You’ll Be Happier And Wealthier If You Tuck Your Shirt In

If we all had a nickel for every time a parent asked if we could please tuck in our shirt, and maybe pull up our pants, there would be a lot more millionaires among us. Now, Fruit of the Loom is using some dubious science to make a pitch for its Stay-Tucked Crew undershirt.

The study, by agency Crispin Porter + Bogusky, surveyed 1,000 guys age 25 to 60 about the quality of their lives in relation to five fundamentals: happiness, optimism, social status, income, and relationships. The results found that more than 60% of tuckers report being happier on the job, they’re 10% more likely to report being socially outgoing, 22% more likely to say they’re optimistic about the future, they report 19% higher income than non-tuckers, and are 8% more likely to report they date often.

This, of course, is what we call a hilariously skewed study. Like, say, if we polled 500 NHL players and used those findings to declare you had a 92% better chance of making the playoffs if you grew a beard. But hey, this is advertising, not anthropology. It’s also worth noting that this is an ad for an undershirt, because anyone who tucks in a regular t-shirt is inherently suspicious. It’s like tucking in a sweater. Which is like punching a puppy.

The brand posted its findings on a dedicated site called the Tuck Effect that also offers a history lesson on tucking, among other things, that Fruit of the Loom undoubtedly hopes will provide a more convincing argument to shove that shirt inside your pants than, say, your father yelling as you walk out the door, “CASUAL FRIDAYS ARE FOR LOSERS, KEVIN!”

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