today was honestly awful
— olivia taters (@oliviataters) September 3, 2015
People are awful. That’s not a controversial statement in a week when the news is full of human beings packed into train cars headed for camps and the bodies of drowned children are washing up on the beaches of Turkey. But often what makes people awful is the way we treat other people. So a condition for recognizing that the things we do are terrible is to value humanity in the first place, for its own sake. To believe that all of us, even when we are wrong about something important, are capable of learning and changing and being better than we were.
That’s the gist of Sady Doyle’s post on the “political correctness in comedy” debate, which is genuinely the best thing I’ve read about that topic but also connects with a lot of other things that are going on. Julianne Escobedo Shepherd approaches the same questions in a Jezebel post about whether the UK banning Tyler, the Creator is a victory for anyone, and whether anyone is ever allowed to change. There’s an awful lot to think about in these two essays, so it’s good you have the whole (long!) weekend ahead. But real quick let’s just agree that the new Taylor Swift video is the worst.
enough hot takes: flip the script & innovate with what I call the Hot Give.
enjoy that idea for free, there’s more where that came from
— Ryan D Gantz, PCP (@sixfoot6) September 2, 2015
Max Abelson wrote a great profile of Donald Trump for Bloomberg, which finally makes it clear that Trump’s money comes mainly from licensing his name, and his company makes about as much as a Tennesee ball bearing manufacturer. Maine’s “Sasquatch Godzilla” has allegedly been caught. “This vandal is a goblin, a ghoul, one might almost say a zombie with no conscience,” stated Kennebunk police. When asked to explain his tagging spree, the suspect claimed his motivation was “love!” Specifically, not getting enough of it. The tech bubble is getting Ludacris, but the latest Big Egg scandal has nothing to do with Marc Andreessen.
watching a seagull eating a hotdog that’s floating in the ocean. i fucking love science.
— 37 Yrs Young (@kirabira) September 3, 2015
Our Dumb Fake Natural World: Australian scientists are preparing to release starfish-killing robots on the Great Barrier Reef, because it’s very important for us to save some starfish but lethally inject others. How many trees does the Pope really have? “My Gynecologist Found a Ball of Cat Hair in My Vagina” of course is an XOJane “It Happened to Me.” But Anna Holmes, for one, is a vagina-cat-hair truther. And let’s just go ahead and round out this genuinely revolting tour of the animal kingdom with the time a salmon jizzed on President Obama, why the heck not.
It’s Labor Day weekend! Ignore your emails! If you’re not American, you can celebrate anyway! I give you permission. Right after you read Vijith Assar’s hilarious and educational Interactive Guide to Ambiguous Grammar in McSweeney’s funny comedic website!
More Tabs next week, I regret to say.
Today’s Toy: The Brooklyn Bar Menu Generator
Today’s Song: Eearz “Work Ya Muscle“
~The thousand injuries of Fortunato I had borne as I best could, but when he ventured upon tabs I vowed revenge.~