I’m back from my court-ordered month wandering the blasted sand wastes of IRL, and it appears that while I was staring hollow-eyed into the sun trying to purge my mind of its screaming horrors, you’ve elected Kanye president, fixed the California drought, and, most astonishingly, produced yet another “why I left The New Republic” tab, this one from Becca Rothfield, who was apparently Leon Wieseltier’s assistant sub-editor of hyphenation and snacks for, like, one hot minute. Well done. I can see everything’s been in good hands here.
Dating still consists of, in the words of Tabs’s senior dystopian relationships correspondent Jessie Guy-Ryan, “men roaming the earth trying desperately to find something to rub their dick on.” Whether that’s Ashley Madison’s almost completely artificial female population or just a straight-up inflatable anime torso doesn’t seem to matter. Taffy Brodesser-Akner wrote about the Sugar Daddy scene for GQ, and while I liked the story a lot, it was not without its critics, of whom Mallory Ortberg was predictably the most thoughtful. And finally, I’m not entirely sure this belongs here but I enjoyed Lauren Oyler’s interview with Virginie Despentes for Broadly, which is VICE’s (ugh) “women vertical” (ugh ugh please stop doing this).
E/N: The Atlantic brought back blogging! Nieman Lab and The Observer sure are excited. Rumors are flying that Nick Denton will brush the cobwebs off his long-moribund “Gawker” blog, which has been shut down since blogging ended, and that registrations for the tiny, struggling SXSW Interactive conference are up for the first year since 2004.
Fun fact: most “Big Data” is actually two small datas standing on each others shoulders and wearing a trenchcoat #inforum2015
— Gordon Taylor (@goodgord) August 30, 2015
Maria Bustillos watched the David Foster Wallace movie with David Lipsky. Elmo Keep wrote about The Long Now Foundation and its absurd clock: “the arcane toy of a handful of obscenely moneyed tech moguls of the late-capitalist 21st century, so idly rich they seek dominion over nothing less than the passage of time.” Michael Zelenko and Frank Bi built a New Yorker cartoon captioning bot for The Verge that honestly works better than you’d imagine it could. And Dee Barnes told the missing story from “Straight Outta Compton”.
Our Incredible Journey: Sadly, Shutdownify is shutting down.
Today’s Toy: Forensically is a free online photo forensics suite, because Everything Is A Hoax.
Today’s Song: Lana Del Ray, “High by the Beach,” which we can all aspire to remain for at least another week, right?
~Sun coming up, 5 a.m., I wonder if they got tabs still?~
This has been the Today in Tabs summer vacation clip show, thank you for joining me. Tomorrow we’ll all find out if I remember how to do this for real. If I do, you’ll find it on Fast Company or in your email. Welcome to Season 3!