Every year, people make the same joke about MTV hosting the Video Music Awards. It’s always some variation of: “Why is MTV still hosting the Video Music Awards? Wouldn’t the ‘Teen Mom Awards’ be more appropriate? Do music videos even exist anymore? Man, I miss being young.” We’re all familiar with the classic jokes. MTV started the VMAs over 30 years ago, though, and it remains the network’s sole link to its glorious past–even if the days are long gone when Madonna could shock viewers by wearing a wedding dress to sing “Like a Virgin.”
We’ve come a long way from Madonna’s wedding dress to… whatever the hell hypercolor microfabric Miley Cyrus fastened to her body at various points during her hosting duties last night. The annual show is now a series of spectacles designed for maximum second-screen experience. If you want to see a complete list of award winners, go here. Taylor Swift won a bunch of awards, if you can believe that. But nobody watches the VMAs to see who wins awards—something nobody apparently told Kanye West, who used his Video Vanguard Award win to give the longest and least wackadoo speech of his life. What people watch for is the most interesting moments—the ones people will be talking about as they ricochet around the Internet in meme-form until we’re all sick of them.
Here are Co.Create’s picks for what was most worth watching.
After learning that Miley Cyrus’s pointedly husky-throated speaking voice makes her sound like she’s auditioning for The View, things looked bleak. Soon, however, Cyrus had recruited Andy Samberg and Ike Barinholtz for an agreeably wacky bit in which they play her Instagram coaches. The show has now officially begun, with Cyrus’s bizarro world version of the 2014 Oscar selfie.
Time will tell whether the new moped-loving Macklemore song, “Downtown” will turn into a “Thrift Shop”-level chart-threat. For now, most people don’t know quite what to think of it. Except for Kanye West, who knows exactly what he thinks about it.
While Bruno Mars gave his acceptance speech for winning the first major award (Best Male Video), the co-winner of the award, Mark Ronson, simply bobbed his head to the inaudible beat of his own song, probably.
Dude killed it. ‘Nuff siad.
In the year of Straight Outta Compton, it has again become fashionable to say, “Fuck the police.” (This recurrence may also be in part due to the number of unarmed teenagers killed in the past year. Who can say?) When Rebel Wilson took the stage to present an award dressed in a janky police officer’s uniform, she actually had a different message: she really does not care for stripper police at bachelorette parties. An insensitive message? Perhaps, but it was leftfield enough to capture our attention.
Prior to the VMAs, Miley Cyrus was typically outspoken about her thoughts on Nicki Minaj. Specifically, she accused Nicki of vying for the spotlight and not for the advancement of her race when complaining about being excluded from a Video of the Year nomination. The whole thing played out like a WWF scenario, though, with Minaj burying the hatchet with Taylor Swift, with whom she’d traded barbs over the nominations, and then calling Cyrus out on live TV during an award speech for Best Female Video.
Here’s how Miley took to being called out.
As we recently mentioned, Justin Bieber is on the comeback trail. This tour took him to the VMAs last night where he performed both his hit with Diplo and Skrillex, “Where Are U Now,” and his new song, “What Do You Mean?” before breaking down in tears and flying over the crowd.
Miley Cyrus wants you to know that she likes pot more than anyone in history has ever actually wanted anything.
Co.Create has no idea who Tori Kelly is but after hearing her unexpected great voice, we look forward to finding out.
After a rambling speech that was exciting in its clearly spontaneous and occasionally boring chaos, Kanye West used his Video Vanguard award platform to declare that he’s running for president in 2020 (later inspiring Miley to endorse Donald Trump.) This is unprecedented levels of Kanye being Kanye.
When Taylor Swift won her Video of the Year award for the blockbuster Bad Blood, she brought nearly an entire sorority’s worth of friends from the video, many of whom have taken to traveling on tour with her, onstage for the victory moment. The prophecy has been fulfilled!
It doesn’t take much effort to see Miley Cyrus nude these days. She appears sans clothes as often as possible. The fact that she ended up “accidentally” freeing her nipple via changing room fiasco near the end of the show is predictable, yet still somewhat audacious. This non-accident will cost MTV a lot in FCC fines.
The night ended with a singularly weird Miley Cyrus performance, and the announcement of a free surprise album, a collaboration with the Flaming Lips. As such, head Lip Wayne Coyne was on hand during Cyrus’s performance to fire enormous bong-shaped confetti canons from disturbingly close to the host’s private parts. This is the only way the show could have possibly ended.