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365 Days Completed, Initiate Health Recovery, And Other Emotionless Greeting Cards

Nothing feels less special than finding out it’s someone else’s birthday on your birthday. But today is all about me, you might think, and according to the average American childhood, you would not be wrong. Today is also about everyone else whose birthday is today, though, an unsettlingly robust list digitally dispatched through Facebook. Because social media now makes its users more keenly aware of others’ birthdays than ever, the subsequent birthday messages have gotten more rote than ever.

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It’s symptomatic of a paperless society that operates as remotely as possible. A new greeting card project, however, takes the emotional distance of the average dashed-off Facebook birthday greeting, and brings it into the physical realm. Meet the anti-Hallmark.

Created by copywriter Adam Gothelf and AD Alberto Rodríguez, these Emotionless Greeting Cards are ambassadors of well-wishes that remain resolutely neutral. It’s as though aliens were among us and their very first act of assimilation was attempting to express gratitude.

“What inspired the project was our goal to create a new form of greeting card communication that would be truly, completely devoid of emotion,” Gothelf says. “We wanted a card that would convey the feeling of an automated activity like ‘parking gate ticket transaction complete’ that would instead signify human correspondence had taken place.”

All cards are letter-pressed in San Francisco, and the store is up and running with a limited first batch. When it comes to “Maker Appreciation Day,” a/k/a Mothers Day, though, before making this purchase, ask yourself: does my mom love her correspondence mixed with jokes about society?

Do the right thing.

Have a look at more Emotionless Greeting Cards in the slides above.

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