Brosé is nothing new, gang. We just called it Peen Au Noir back in the day.
— Black Larry King (@BlackLarryKing) July 29, 2015
For better or worse, the internet is not allowed to shoot anyone with a crossbow, chase them across the African veldt for nearly two days, and finish them off with a rifle. So the most anyone could do to the regretful and regrettable Walter Palmer was leave very sharply worded Yelp reviews for his dental office. “[A]n online mob baying for [his] blood” fulminated CNN after consulting Jon Ronson’s thesaurus of hyperbole. Wired compared the anger over Cecil’s death to Gamergate, somehow. And in the New Yorker, Joyce Carol Oates lashed out the only way she could: with truly awful poetry. Auntie Joyce knows how to go for the jugular.
nobody wants to talk about lion on lion crime I see
— W.E.B.B.I.E DuBois (@fivefifths) July 29, 2015
Who else is lyin’? Journalists, according Felix Salmon (but Felix Salmon is an idiot, according to Lockhart Steele). This former Google diversity adviser who proposed to build a museum of women’s accomplishments and instead opened a Jack the Ripper museum. Everyone who told you bullies were unhappy. Or just everyone, all the time, says Caitlin Dewey.
if I had a time machine, I would go to the past and amaze the people with modern technology such as a cell phone or a FUCKING TIME MACHINE
— NEIL cicierega (@neilyourself) July 29, 2015
You could read this nearly endless feature about a handsome 20 year old man with absolutely nothing interesting to say, or you could let Helen Holmes inform you much more concisely that Vine stars are “utter fuckboi assholes.”
Katie J.M. Baker talked to a college admissions consultant who specializes in finding new schools for students accused of sexual misconduct. “God forbid, if one of my clients committed rape, who needs a liberal arts education more than that person?” is only one of an unusual number of astounding pull quotes.
Windows 10 is out. Looks pretty familiar so far:
Read These: Rembert Browne on the tenth anniversary of Young Jeezy’s “Thug Motivation 101” is terrific even if you have never knowingly heard a Young Jeezy song. Similarly, Amos Barshad on the making of “Eyes Wide Shut“ is great even if you think “Eyes Wide Shut” is a fundamentally dopey movie. I will never be able to read too much about or spell the name of Yanis Varoufakis. Rob Meyer made some good points about how fractally dreadful iTunes is. And what if we just stopped pushing the web forward for, like, a year? Sounds pretty good to me.
cut my jeans into pieces
these are my brand new jorts
— Michele Catalano (@inthefade) July 29, 2015
T H E P L A N E: Mmmmmaybe?
Today in Skits: Key & Peele, TeachingCenter
~TKTK some kind of quote here, with one word changed to “tabs”~
This is penultimate Today in Tabs of season 2! For one more day, you will find us on Fast Company and your email and then we get to abandon the `net for August! Or I do at least, which is what really matters.