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Today in Tabs: Struggle Takes

Featuring plagues, animals, despair, and media. But I repeat myself.

Today in Tabs: Struggle Takes
[Photos: Flick users Kristin Nador, Sue Cantan, Screenshots: via Taiwanese Animators]

Gawker is somehow still happening but has reached the struggle-take stage, like Starbucks content mill The New York Times trying to link Gawker and Reddit and Newsweek trying to link Gawker and TNR, although the latter is at least intentionally funny. And now the Taiwanese Animators have covered it (feat. actual Gawkerbabies!) so I think everyone else can stop.

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The worst genre of personal essay is “My 9/11 Experience,” and the worst place to write an essay is Twitter, so Joshua Clover’s entertaining and readable 200+ tweet essay “#HowIQuitSpin is a remarkable achievement that no one should ever try to duplicate. Ever.

First Look’s president of audience and products, John Temple, having converted Pierre Omidyar’s $250 million new media empire back into just Glenn Greenwald’s blog, announced “my job is done here!” and confidently strode off into a supply closet.

Today in Animals: Here’s a swarm of locusts so big it’s visible on weather radar, in Texas: “America’s Plague State.” A baby seal was rescued from a cow pasture by Lincolnshire residents, who are Hobbits. (Three of you are like “oh I say, how droll!” right now, I see you.) A minion in The New Yorker is Silvia’s greatest troll. Bros are technically animals, right? Tomorrow in animals: mass drowning (this tab is today’s second-best reason for despair).

Today’s best reason for despair is: “James Franco Has Written a Book About Lana Del Rey.” Wired’s Andy Greenberg had a Jeep hacked on regular public roads, which seems like maybe not the best idea? Batman: “He throws darts shaped like his brand logo. He’s Jeff Bezos on steroids and paint-thinner fumes. He is a choad.” Twitter threw a frat party, because everyone will just keep doing the same crap over and over forever I guess. “Is this a selfie?” is a very easy question to answer so let’s never ask it again. Kyle Chayka is looking for Brooklyn freelancers to share a coworking space so get in on that if you are a Brooklyn freelancer, which you probably are. And former Tabs intern Karen K. Ho has a feature about Jennifer Pan’s plot to kill her parents in Toronto Life, which is basically The New Yorker of Toronto, but with fewer minions.

Streaming: Titus Andronicus’s “The Most Lamentable Tragedy

Today’s Song: Despot, “House of Bricks

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~Whatever became of the moment when one first knew about tabs? There must have been one. A moment. In childhood.~

Today in Tabs spent yesterday elbow deep in filth IRL, as opposed to elbow deep in filth online like usual, so I don’t really know what happened. I think Taylor Swift tweeted? Whatever. If I find out about it, I’ll let you know on Fast Company or in email. If not, we can all just continue to live in blissful ignorance. I know which I’d prefer.

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