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Today in Tabs: Appraising Amy

Let the great free-market experiment begin!

Today in Tabs: Appraising Amy
[Photos: Flickr user Jarle Naustvik, Helga Esteb, Debby Wong via Shutterstock]

On Sunday, Monica Heisey capped 10 paragraphs of Guardian praise for Amy Schumer with two paragraphs of extremely mild criticism of the lazy racism of some of her older standup material, and suggested “perhaps a Schumer backlash is inevitable.” We all know where this is headed right? “We thought you were different!” cried the fans as they read Schumer’s Patton Oswalt-level notes-app-screenshot-subtweet response. Don’t “burn me at the stake,” she later Ronsoned. Jessica Goldstein looked at both tedious sides of this incredibly repetitive controversy that somehow comedians cannot stop having over and over, like we’re all going to live a billion years and can afford to have this argument any number of times without a care for the literally irreplaceable moments of our lives it keeps consuming. In Vulture, E. Alex Jung came to Schumer’s defense, as someone was bound to in the, by now, entirely predictable progress of this story. Last night Schumer reached the blocking randos on Twitter stage of caremad, and as of now it remains to be seen whether some kind friend will take her phone away and let this dumb story die.

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Rat-tailed cannibal Shia LaBeouf went freestyle at some kind of dirtbag pond party, and his bars were honestly not too bad for someone who is generally not known for his sick flow, except that, like his first movie, he apparently ripped them off from someone else—in this case Anomolies. Particularly egregious is the “gas mask/last laugh” kicker, but he didn’t steal the weird part about potatoes. The potato stuff was all Shia.

Today in Brief: Gavin McInnes will never stop embarrassing VICE even though he hasn’t worked there for nearly a decade. Uber is apparently selling $1.2 billion in bonds based on “substantially old numbers that do not reflect business activities today.” That inspires confidence. Anshuman Iddamsetty commences Project Total Yang.[citation needed] Bitcoin is primarily a way to turn an enormous amount of electricity into theft. Screams screamed. Shingy reveals that snake people don’t like ads. Behind the dildo flag. Walmart’s ISIS cake was not dildos, but they apologized for making it anyway. What to do if a woman is funny on Twitter. Los Angeles is the new London for the bottom 0.99 of the 1%. Polyamory is once again dragged out to cure a bad relationship, but this time with a libertarian spin! Let the great free-market experiment begin!

Today in Sharks and/or Bees: Sharks, sharks, bees, Bees, BEES.

Today in Burns:

and many more wonderful questions for bad writer E.L. James.

It was early when I read her email but I think Intern Romy said she was going to explain why Mulholland Drive isn’t a real film, which I 100% agree with, cause that thing makes no sense!

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TODAY’S INTERN TAB, by ROMY SUGDEN

I like games, but I’m usually too busy writing, or hustling for writing jobs, to play any. But every once in a while, I’ll dabble in slaying dragons, and racing turtles, and pressing X to Jason.

Last night, I played a new full motion video game called Her Story. Seated in front of an old computer, you search through archived video clips of seven interviews with a woman regarding the disappearance of her husband. You want to solve the case: where is he? Did she kill him? Did someone else?

Critic reviews of the game have been almost entirely and enthusiastically positive, but as Steven Burns points out, consumer criticism seems centered around the idea that Her Story is simply “not a game”. And after a year of #GamerGate, it’s hard not to immediately interpret that as “not a game because I don’t like it”.

Again, I’m not a hardc0re 1337 gam3r, but if your medium is becoming so vast that it’s producing work which is anathema to your entire conception of what that medium should be, surely that’s a good thing? If games like Her Story aren’t really games, then films like Mulholland Drive or aren’t really films.

Sure, Her Story is not a game with a fixed end, or a scoring system, or anyone to interact with. Instead, when you have hit upon a key piece of information, the old CRT monitor will flicker in a specific way, or the score will swell. And it’s exciting, in a specific way that not everyone will care for. Not everyone cares for David Lynch, either, but film is still here.

Oh, awk. Well I’m not a gamer at all, but for what it’s worth I’ve also heard that Her Story is really good. I still don’t understand Mulholland Drive though. But enough about that because here is

THE WORST THING ON THE INTERNET:

Todays Song: Meek Mill, “Classic” ft. Swizz Beatz

~ We train young men to drop tabs on people, but their commanders won’t allow them to write “fuck” on their airplanes because it’s obscene!~

Today in Tabs is terribly sorry for that Minion above. You were a good person and didn’t deserve to die that way. Please tell your next of kin to find us on Fast Company or subscribe by email, so they can remember what you were like.

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