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Today in Tabs: Tabbed, Rested, and Ready

Today in Flags

Today in Tabs: Tabbed, Rested, and Ready
[Photos: Flickr users Michael Seeley, Michael Vadon, Screenshot: via The Tribe]

Bree Newsome took down the Confederate flag at the South Carolina capitol on Saturday. It was back up in time for these idiots to model for the “what were they thinking?” sidebar in future American history textbooks, but Adam Anderson’s picture of Newsome at the top of the pole will be the moment everyone remembers the flag coming down for good. The weekend’s other flag related news was CNN’s breathless report that it spotted an ISIS flag at London’s Pride parade. The flag, the report, and CNN all turned out to be a bunch of dildos. Meanwhile, black churches are burning again, but CNN does not appear to have noticed yet.

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The Supreme Court tabs are in! Scalia is a bad writer (says a lawyer on Gawker) and a homophobe (says Barney Frank). Choire pointed out that Justice Roberts’s argument about “traditional marriage” is a bunch of dildos, which I’d say also applies to Justice Thomas’s claim that slaves were not denied their dignity by being enslaved. Bobby Jindal (whose new campaign slogan is, I’m not kidding, “Tanned, Rested and Ready,” just like Nixon in ’88) proposed we get rid of the Supreme Court entirely. Mississippi might just get rid of marriage, and Rand Paul thinks the whole U.S. government should abandon it. Red State is incensed that gay marriages are now given stronger legal protection than “real marriages,” which is to say: incestuous marriages (see the footnote), and Freddie DeBoer is ready to legalize polygamy now (I’m not sure I disagree with him tbh). And finally, Borowitz swept the New Yorker dot com “Most Popular” list at last, so they’ve shut down the site. It was nice while it lasted. Fortunately Today in Tabs inspiration Caitlin Kelly managed a smooth exit to VICE sports.

Facebook’s new diversity report is out, and like most of the big Silicon Valley companies, it “has a lot of work to do,” and isn’t doing it. Facebook hired more than 1,200 new employees in 2013, of whom 7 were black. Not 7 percent—seven individuals. “We have a lot of work to do” is going to mean a lot more if the day ever comes that all of Facebook’s new black employees for the year can’t share an Uber to work. Also if it ever stops banning trans people for using their preferred names.

Today in Burns: Bob Costas burned Pedro Strop’s entire deceased ancestry (but later apologized), the whole world burned Ann Coulter by not caring what she says anymore, SpaceX burned Elon Musk (and a lot of ISS supplies) on his birthday, and Kara Swisher burned Dylan Byers so badly he may never recover:

It’s intern Romy’s last week, and, perhaps inspired by Bree Newsome, she’s thinking about women getting things done.

TODAY’S INTERN TAB, by ROMY SUGDEN

If there’s one thing I love more than a woman talking and doing things, it’s a bunch of women talking to each other and getting things done. So reading this LitHub roundtable on women of Twitter was a delight. In addition to addressing trolls, harassment, and death threats, they discuss learning, connecting with other women, and finding friendships and career opportunities. It’s nice to be reminded that amongst all the garbage, women can carve out a place for ourselves.

Speaking of cool women who are great at their jobs, have you been watching “UnReal?” Of course not, nobody has. It’s an hour-long satire centered on a Bachelor-style reality dating show, but it never plays the contestants as interchangeable props created for the male gaze, instead giving each of them distinct inner lives. And the women who run the show deal with love, mental illness, and the morality of their jobs while still being bomb-ass bitches at them. If the Lifetime logo has been putting you off, give it a chance – the first four episodes are online now.

If you feel a gaping hole in your life when UnReal ends, head to Turner Classic Movies during October. They’ve paired up with LA-based Women in Film to create a month of programming highlighting the women behind the scenes. For one sweet month, ignore the fact that gender inequality in film has barely improved over the last century, and focus on how women have gotten shit done anyway.

I don’t know about you but I just finished season 3 of Orphan Black and I’m feeling kind of desol8. Maybe I’ll try this “UnReal.”

Today’s Song: Titus Andronicus released a mixtape called “Sorry About The Delay” in advance of their forthcoming ROCK OPERA.

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Today’s Last Word:

~Away with him! and make a fire straight; / And with our swords, upon a pile of wood, / Let’s hew his tabs till they be clean consumed.~

Today in Tabs is only happy when it’s dimed out. Fast Company is still a domain I never type right the first time. Email will never die.

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