Today in Tabs: An Immense Pile Of Filth

Gun-crazed racist murder-hole the United States of America saw yet another attack on its black population last night, who have recently borne the brunt of state-supported white supremacist terror to a degree unusual even in the blood-soaked history of a nation founded in genocide and built on slavery. Nine parishioners engaged in Bible study at the Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in Charleston, SC, were gunned down in an act of racist terrorism so explicit that to give even a moment’s credence to the idea that it might be an “attack on Christianity” or “just a troubled loner” is to declare yourself an open supporter of white supremacy, which is America’s second-deadliest terrorist threat after the police (if we choose to consider those two separate threats). I’m not even going to attempt to cover what is still breaking news, but I recommend you read Jelani Cobb in the New Yorker and donate to Emanuel AME church. This morning, like every morning, the flag of slavery flew proudly above the South Carolina statehouse.

Meanwhile, Treasury Secretary Jack Lew announced that the new $10 note will include a picture of a woman, while still also keeping Alexander Hamilton on there somehow. Hamilton founded our national financial system and was the first Secretary of the Treasury. Women, as of the 2020 release date of the new $10 bill, will have been allowed to vote for exactly one hundred years. Unchanged will be the $20 bill, which features genocidal opponent of paper money Andrew Jackson.

Upworthy is pivoting away from aggregation and toward original content. John Herrman explains why: “early Upworthy was a human-powered apparatus that exploited a temporary glitch (or, at best, intermediate design feature) in Facebook’s platform to grow…” That glitch has now been patched.

Apple intends to launch its new Apple Music streaming service by requiring musicians and labels to donate three months of free streams up front. Apple has a $732.75 billion market cap and $178 billion in cash reserves. The music industry’s total retail revenue was $6.97 billion in 2014, according to the RIAA.

Welcome to the Summer of Schlub. Are you ready for True Mustache Season 2? Secret Crudbump in dub album released. Of course the KFC fried rat is a hoax. Everything is a hoax. Incidentally the new-look Buzzfeed News is fire. Savor this moment because “Witless Ape Rides Escalator” is almost certainly the only time I will agree with The National Review. Former guest Tabs intern Vijith Assar pointed out in Wired that Twitter’s new shared blocklist feature is literally the least they could possibly do. Billionaire Nick Hanauer drastically underestimates the ability of his cohort to distract the ever-growing underclass.

Today is garb so I let Romy get away with just making a list of people you should be listening to instead of her or me.

Take care of yourselves, everyone. If you need a laugh today, and you do, check out Mallory on The Martyrdom Of Saint Sebastian, In Ascending Order Of Sexiness And Descending Order Of Actual Martyring.

CORRECTIONS: Yesterday I screwed up the Jurassic World section pretty badly! The Jessica Ritchey post should have been linked here, and the Fusion post was of course by the excellent Molly Fitzpatrick, not Molly Lambert who is also excellent but is ontologically a separate person, according to some schools of thought.

Today’s Music: Giorgio Moroder, “Tom’s Diner ft. Britney Spears“

~Oh, these tabs they will continue through the morning as I’m listening to the bells of the cathedral~

Today in Tabs is on Fast Company and in your email. Quiz tomorrow, more Tabs next week, heat death of the universe in something like 10¹⁰⁰ years. Stay tuned.