Today in Tabs: No One Here Opts Out Alive

They got the laptops but we’ve got the numbers.

Today in Tabs: No One Here Opts Out Alive
[Photo: Flickr users Yutaka Seki, David Reber, Mahender G, and Jeff Hitchcock]

Disney quietly reversed its flagrantly illegal plan to replace IT workers with H-1B visa holders. “We were told our jobs were continuing and we should consider it as if nothing had happened until further notice,” a newly un-fired worker told the New York Times “Further notice” here being a euphemism for “testifying to the Department of Labor,” I hope.


Dog racism: Refinery29 is on it. Commercial face-ism: no one’s going to do anything about it.

You may already be bound by Apple’s publishing terms and conditions. Think carefully—have you explicitly opted out? Do you even know how to opt out? You can opt out by leaning very close to any Apple product and whispering “In the name of Steve I abjure thee!” three times, and then tracing your full Apple ID sigil in the air with sage or a similar smudging smoke of your choice. Did you forget your Apple ID sigil? Oh my. That’s not good. I’m afraid… that’s not good at all.

You may already be an Uber employee, according to the California Labor Commission. Winners of the breaking-news article stub race were the NYT, Motherboard, and Bloomberg. Perhaps now we’ll find out if the seemingly intentionally evil ride-hailing company is just a Ponzi scheme built on endless rounds of fundraising at increasingly insane valuations and kept afloat only by screwing its drivers, who are the weakest party involved both legally and financially… or, um, not? As usual, TechCrunch nailed it:

Jessica Richey wrote a good take on why summer blockbusters keep getting worse, tying it to Incompetent White Dude Cinderella Syndrome (my name for her concept) and calling out Jurassic World for specific contempt. And Molly Fitzpatrick* compared how women are portrayed in Jurassic World vs. the original Jurassic Park and, basically: just watch the original one again, like I did last weekend, because you’ll be blown away by what a great, non-shitty film it still is. Or you could watch the new one and be sad, I guess, if that’s your thing! If you haven’t seen it yet, the Jurassic World script just leaked online.

Break yourself off a slice of yesterday’s great p.p.s. newsletter. What if podcasts, but not too much? The emoji eyeroll is coming, in the next phase of the Unicode Consortium’s adorably quixotic effort to determine which specific objects out of the entire possible set of objects are expressive and which are merely things that exist but should never be texted about. Deadspin’s Killer Mike campaign posters are so good, I just wish there were more of them. Hillarize your `tar (Pro-tip: it accepts animated gifs).

Let Hallie Bateman make you sleepy. Too sleepy? Let wake you up. Not angry enough? Watch two white guys hump black music for laughs while promoting a right-wing political candidate. Want to die? Me too. Let’s go to the Intern Tab.


I used to work the night audit at a popular Toronto hotel-slash-bar. I’d spend the entire shift in four-inch heels, bringing my height to a cool six-one. Half of my job was dealing with drunk men, and the ability to look them in the eye–or, better yet, tower over them–gave me an invaluable air of control.

Now that I’m a freelancer, my heels never come out of the closet, as they don’t really go with my new work uniform (jeans and a Muji button-down). But I know that when I inevitably give up on my dream and get a real job, I’ll dust them off. For women, fashion can be a lot of things, from fun to functional. But we move about the world constantly under the scrutiny of the male gaze, so our outfits are always a message, albeit one which men frequently misinterpret.

I don’t know what message the pseudonymous Greta was sending her New York Times Opinionator-ing therapist with her “dowdy” outfits, but I guess it wasn’t clear enough for a dude who, after a decade of treating her, concluded that her unfashionable hair and sensible shoes must be the primary cause of her romantic woes.

Obviously, the entire piece is garbage, but it did help me realize that I should stop going to my own therapist, who probably hates me and thinks I’m ugly. TTYN, Dr. B!

This is incredibly rare but there are actually some good comments calling out how crappy that therapist is, if you’d like some more support for your murderous rage.

Today’s Song: Hey why not listen to Desaparacidos new album, “Payola“?

* CORRECTION: This post originally credited Molly Lambert for what is clearly an article by Molly Fitzpatrick, because I, Rusty Foster, am dumb.

~And in the end the tabs you take are equal to the tabs you make~

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