Today in Tabs: Here Come The Tabs Dot Co

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Today in Tabs: Here Come The Tabs Dot Co
[Photos: Flickr user Jessica Cross, Nicki Mannix, Michael R Ross via Shutterstock], John Parra/Getty Images for New York Magazine]

Jesse Singal at NYMag has a very thorough timeline of the Michael LaCour persuasion study fraud, which is the most interesting thing going on in Tabs right now, IMO. On Friday night, LaCour released a 23-page response to the fraud accusations, and he clearly tried his best but it’s not even faintly convincing. The owner of the Qualtrics account he points to as the “real” source of his data immediately disputed that, and, even though, as iMediaEthics reported, “The paper also includes pages of charts,” it all comes off as obscurantist quibbling and doesn’t answer the main question, which is simply: “Where’s the data and how was it collected?”


Meanwhile, a Science magazine advice column suggests that a female postdoc should just “put up with” her advisor constantly trying to look down her shirt, “with good humor if you can.” Oops, that got pulled pretty fast! Here’s the archive link.

Tabs Hall of Fame: Valued canoe instructor Seth Godin demonstrates what it’s like to talk to every smug jackass who has a superficial knowledge of your field but still wants to mansplain it to you. (Also dishonorable mention for implying that Popova has anything whatsoever to teach librarians.) The NY Post has a Thought-Catalog-wave defense of the “wife bonus,” and it is exactly as awful as you’d think: “He . . . joked it was to reward me for being a ‘good little wife,’ which made me laugh out loud.” Yeah. “Joked.”

Elizabeth Wurtzel Finds Someone to Love Her” might simultaneously be the shadiest and most accurate Vows headline, and if anyone ever deserved to have had her literary meet-cute punctured in the Awl, it’s Wurtzel. Mazel tov!

Never take out your trash again: Never put food in your own mouth again: One of these is allegedly real. What is Bitcoin? Bitcoin is a heerm pheerm higital hurrmcy, hissnomanous n’ zueecentrali. Parallelism, R, and OpenMP: “Really the only reason anyone thinks this stuff is hard is because software engineering is an inherently disfunctional discipline practiced exclusively by sociopathic masochists.” Also: announcing GitTorrent.

Say what you will about Sasha Frere-Jones’s brief, much-tabbed stint at Genius, but one thing you can’t deny is that as far as I can tell, in his six months there he didn’t accomplish a single thing. Time isn’t recognized enough for being one of the worst publications operating right now. Look at how this terrible headline doesn’t even vaguely match the terrible content of the article! Taters Illustrated. Is Rickrolling the innocent fun we used to think it was? Dave “Night iPhone” Morin was prevented from failing as thoroughly as he deserved to. The Wire: Tautology Supercut. If you watch it, you’ll see it.

The primary accomplishment of the Tabs internship program so far has been teaching Markdown to Canadian women, and I see no reason to stop now, so please welcome June’s intern Romy Sugden and June’s intern sponsors Qapital and Slack!


My name is Romy Sugden. It’s a novelty for me to be able to type that–I write hundreds, sometimes thousands, of words every day, but I never get to take credit for them. I am an academic ghostwriter, a term paper hack, a “shadow scholar.” I have written scores of papers for a legion of students. I’ve done everything, from high school book reports to MA theses.

Is what I do unethical? That’s a complicated question, which I’d be happy to answer in a personal essay, research proposal, or dissertation. My rate doubles for rush jobs, though, so maybe we shouldn’t worry about it. Instead, I’ll focus on working with Rusty, which is a slightly less uncertain moral proposition. [Ed: Debatable.]

I’ve assured Rusty that, despite a recent scandal, he doesn’t need to run my Tabs through Turnitin, and he seems to have been convinced by my previous online work–like my recent piece on John Le Carré for the Oyster Review–that I’m not just a clandestine university grifter. I’m glad to be doing something (a little) more legitimate for the next month, although I’m sure you’ll catch me pining for some straightforward academic assignments on my Twitter.

“Clandestine University Grifter” is definitely one of my favorite Modest Mouse songs. Anyway, I can’t wait to see what you bring us, Romy, and/or whether anyone is upset by my inviting such a shameless crook to intern! Let me know in the comments (j/k I don’t ever read comments or want anyone’s opinion).

Today’s Song: Frazey Ford, “Done

~Zero tabs minotaur-fugly stepchild~

Today in Tabs can’t ever criticize Slack again. Lol I never would have criticized Slack anyway, luv u Slack. We’re on Fast Company and on email. Let’s start saying “on email.” That’d be pretty cool, right? See you on email.

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