ME: what is this, tastes like hot bean water
ME: [3 minute spit-take]
ME: [jazz hands] it’s me david blaines
— Joshua Allen (@fireland) May 18, 2015
Nicki and Beyoncé released the “Feeling Myself” video on Tidal yesterday, leading to a panicked and increasingly desperate search throughout Manhattan’s newsrooms for someone with a Tidal login. Eventually most people made do with watching it in the form of gifs, which works pretty well, since the video is basically just a collection of gifs anyway. Go ahead and watch it on Tidal though if you have a login (I see u Jay).
Taylor Swift has been teasing her video for “Bad Blood” since 1989, and she finally released it yesterday. It’s fine, if you like things that are trying way too hard. The main takeaway from it is that even if you gut “Bad Blood” and replace most of it with Kendrick Lamar verses, it’s still not as good a song as “Feeling Myself.”
Meanwhile, in dumb politics: Barack Obama pretended to tweet from the new pretend Twitter account Jason Goldman made him create to replace his old pretend Twitter account which everyone knows has long been a Barack-puppet run by his fundraising organization. Obama’s social media interns had a “cute” exchange with Bill Clinton’s social media interns that made everyone want to vomit.
— President Obama (@POTUS) May 18, 2015
Then John Kerry was like:
— John Kerry (@JohnKerry) May 18, 2015
And Obama and Clinton jumped into the cool-Democrats Slack to backchannel about what a thirst-monster Kerry is, and then Biden made a :lurch: custom emoji and work was basically just wrecked for the rest of the day.
Everybody chill out.
— Stewart Butterfield (@stewart) May 19, 2015
Today in Near-Future Headlines: L’Oreal partners with bioprinting company Organovo and artists Christo and Jeanne-Claude to wrap Rio de Janeiro’s iconic statue “Christ the Redeemer” in perfectly-contoured and blushed human skin. (Spoiler though: all of Christo’s art was already made of human skin.)
Ever wondered how hilarious it is when one of those invisible bike helmets goes off by accident? Wonder no more: it is very hilarious. It’s like, one second you’re a hip London immersive media and information designer and then suddenly: BARRISTER!
Paul Ford on the “No To” Poem. Speaking of Paul Ford, here’s a full Clojure programming environment you can embed inside Excel, which is one of the Paul Fordiest things I’ve ever seen. My Garbage Cat Wakes Me Up At 3AM Every Day: The Video Game. “A million shouts & murmurs isn’t cool. You know what’s cool? A billion shouts & murmurs.” Parenting is devastating. Another “Meow the Jewels” preview. Meet Drew on Patreon in the next ten minutes if you want an ass-kicking. Imagen Man Man still on TV today?
Mass media has always reassured me that pretty much everyone else is also a white dude just like me, or an accessory/plot contrivance to same. But it turns out that is possibly not the case anymore? Tabs intern Karen Ho brings us the story:
The fact that I have nothing to add to this is, in my mind, full justification for the concept of the Tabs intern, so instead I’ll just put this tweet here:
Last night I dreamed someone said to me: “Sour cream is just butter with PMS”
— Helen Rosner (@hels) May 19, 2015
~You know it used to be tab love~
Today in Tabs is definitely buying In ’n’ Out for the whole Fast Company crew after this. Tinyletter is the Nicki to our Beyoncé. Follow me @rustyk5. Special thanks today to Senior Contributing Editor Bijan Stephen for “Rio de Janeiro’s iconic statue ‘Christ the Redeemer.’”