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Today in Tabs: I Don’t Mean To Tab At You But I Feel Good Doing It

Go fuck yourself! A blog?

Today in Tabs: I Don’t Mean To Tab At You But I Feel Good Doing It
[Photo: Flickr users Giorgio Montersino, Jon-Mark Davey, kusabi]

Holy dang cow Seymour Hersh! Amid all the back-and-forth about his allegations regarding ISI’s involvement in the Bin Laden raid—is it true? Should it have been a blog post? Or perhaps a cartoon caption contest?—Sy found time to bellow at Slate’s Isaac Chotiner over the phone. The whole thing is a little

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But it’s definitely worth reading. For pairing, may I recommend Elspeth Reeve’s analysis of Our Changing Feelings About Sy Hersh in TNR. There are graphs! I’ll be over here quietly worshipping RJ Hillhouse.

I started looking for stuff about Instant Articles—it’s a Facebook thing that lays psychoactive eggs behind your eyes, I think—but my computer kept moaning at me and crashing Chrome, because in my heart I do not care. John Herrman provides actual insight, in probably the best ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ᴡᴀʀs post so far. I just wanted to point out that the Facebook’s “walled garden” has been compared to the AOL of yesteryear many times for a few years now (topical!), and what happens in walled gardens?

Startup Castle is going to end just like The Beach, calling it now.

HOWEVER, they do have a perfect potential resident in DINO-CHICKENS. “We want to learn how beaks evolved, so we made a dino-chicken,” the scientist blatantly lied. Fear the coming Bird Age, when Franzen will rise above all men as the chosen spokesman of the Bird God and tell us what our poops taste like.

It took science to put the Velociraptor back in the chicken, but cats required help from no man to put themselves into our hearts (and gray matter). Congrats to that extremely bored scientist for sneaking an ALF reference in there.

Sevenses is an epic disaster….novel.

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Mad MRAs: Feminism Road! There is nothing really to say about this idiotic story (well, “lol dumb-dumb,” but other than that), but I immediately bought tickets to a showing after hearing about this, cackling gleefully and praising the sisterhood the entire time.

This Modern Dystopia: The first of undoubtedly many angry robots that will spend their days yelling at toiling humans has finally arrived. Content farm Viral Nova operates from creepy bro dungeon and is refreshingly honest about what it is and what it’s doing (Not Journamalism). The knife-twist is the confirmation that in Brooklyn, content is abundant and low value. At least two of these cheap infrastructure improvements will 100% definitely happen. Did you know that if you make a flag and put it in the dirt, you become king? Look it up. This is genuinely so disgusting and terrible that I can’t think of a good joke to make about it.

MEANWHILE, IN CANADA:

TODAY’S INTERN TAB, by KAREN HO

When Canadian federal ministers threatened “zero tolerance” for groups participating in the loose coalition movement against Israel called Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions, CBC News asked what exactly that meant. It appears Prime Minister Stephen Harper loves Israel so much his government is threatening to charge people who boycott the country with hate crimes. The government said the news reporting this was false, so The Intercept published their entire email exchange.

Harper hasn’t been terribly effective recently though. Last week, his government’s objections weren’t enough to prevent Omar Khadr’s release on bail. A Canadian citizen captured in Afghanistan at age 15, Khadr was the youngest person held at America’s sunny Caribbean torture colony Guantanamo Bay, where he was imprisoned and abused for well over a decade. What he does with his freedom will be interesting to watch.

Speaking of suffering, former crack-smoking mayor Rob Ford has successfully undergone surgery for cancer. [Ed: Not sure if “former” modifies “mayor” or “crack-smoking.” Please clarify.] Flush with success, doctors are now planning an operation to remove Ezra Levant’s absurd idea that Rob Ford was “Toronto’s first black president, in a way”.

Canadian Dragon/Shark/perennial huckster Kevin O’Leary was on Celebrity Jeopardy! last night. It did not go well.


“Mr. Wonderfull” indeed.

Today’s Album: Thee Oh Sees’ Mutilator Defeated At Last

Put this garbage week in the trash and go home, you deserve it.

~You wake up
Content
Post up
Content
Ridin’ round in it
Content
Flossin’ on that
Content
This diamond
Content
My diamond
Content
This rock
Content
My Roc
Content
I woke up like this, I woke up like this~

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Today in Tabs was written by Jessie Guy-Ryan, who is very tired at the moment. It’s on Fast Company and coming from inside your inbox. Rusty will be back Monday, I’m sorry to say.

Inbox Zero is a hoax. Get Today in Tabs in your email every day.

  

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