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Today in Tabs: Wherein The Student Becomes The Master

The velocity and position of a One Direction member cannot be measured. Same.

Today in Tabs: Wherein The Student Becomes The Master
[Photo: Flickr users Mike Mozart, Fiona McKinlay, Jason Persse]

[I’m traveling this week, so your first guest tabber is Bijan Stephen. Bijan was the first Tabs intern, and is currently a Tabs Senior Contributing Editor. He also works at some magazine. —Rusty]

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What up nerds? It me! I’m back!

I’ve missed you. I was reading over my old tabs the other day (collected online at FastCompany, your inboxes, & in your hearts), and I thought it was about time I dropped in to say hi. Happily, Rusty was already planning to Shirk His Duty and travel through time and space to The Big Apple. As I always say: For Tab Daddy so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Senior Contributing Editor, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting Tabs. (Cool fact: That’s in the Tabs charter.)

Anyway, to the News!

News 1: There was some sort of tech deal that happened today? Verizon & AOL, sitting in a tree, d-i-s-r-u-p-t-i-n-g.

News 2: There is only a single direction. Wanna know something sweet? According to Breaking Bad’s Uncertainty Principle, you can never know the velocity AND position of a 1D member (because if you could they’d be crushed under a swarm of teenage bodies/hormones).

News 3: Racism? Some NYC landlords are still cool with it. Sick.

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News 4: Ta-Nehisi to write an HBO miniseries on America in the MLK years with some other dudes. Lede buried as heck here.

Woah/whoa!!!!! That’s a lot of News. Let’s have a look at some of the Other Stuff that happened recently.

Everything You Need To Know About Burns, In One Tweet: Come at Jazmine incorrectly? K. Burn of the century coming right up.

(screenshot 4 context via Choire, but go on with yr bad self and fav the ~clapback~ itself)

Do you know what time it is now? INTERN TIME!!!!!! Karen, whatchu got.

TODAY’S INTERN TAB, by KAREN HO

Working as a local television reporter is often far from glamorous. You risk having your signoff become a meme or your fall into a lake replayed on the internet forever.

What I didn’t expect to learn was how frequently reporters are harassed simply for trying to do their jobs. Both male and female journalists in Canada are pissed off about the prevalence of (ugh) “F*@^ Her in the Pussy”, the vile prank phrase said or shouted during live hits and on-the-street video interviews. They’re speaking out about it with greater frequency. Tired of it all, yesterday Citytv’s Shauna Hunt straight-up confronted the dickbags.

I hate how one reporter laid the blame on a kid’s mother, how women are apparently starting to do it too, and how it’s even happening at the scenes of murders but the smug look of absolute satisfaction on some of the guys faces about their behaviour says volumes about white privilege, rape culture, and how there will always be no shortage of men defending this as “just jokes”.

The worst part is, the whole thing started out as a hoax.

The world is truly full of garbage people, Canada included, we’re just more aware of them than ever. But this is horrific verbal assault, and something reporters on both sides of the border are now fearful of encountering every day they’re out in the field. I hope these people are banned from sports arenas, fired from their jobs, arrested or at least humiliated for the rest of their lives.

Karen, this is Actually Good. I will never own an intern. Never. Put that on your life.

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More: Iced out. Fish saved. Youtube futured. Man wrong, Lady right. What did you think was going to happen?

Even More: Two children in social strategist meat suit. #FreeTaters. Gotta catch ‘em all. I thirst for the death of empire.

Today in extremely Jams tho: Jia dropped a sick summer mix via Tinybitchtaptes. Subscribe to that other newsletter if you know what’s good for you.

Today’s inside joke: Greta

Today’s tune: “I Know There’s Gonna Be (Good Times)”, by Jamie XX ft. Young Thug.

~now i am become rusty, the destroyer of tabs~

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k. that’s it for me. play me out coach.

xo,

bij

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