Today In Tabs: How To Succeed In Business By Stealing From The Weak

Running from the Taburglar.

Today In Tabs: How To Succeed In Business By Stealing From The Weak
[Photo: Flickr users EAWB, Lelê Breveglieri, Michael Cory]

Uber stays cheap by helping Uber riders relentlessly screw Uber drivers. That’s what Emily Guendelsberger learned when she tried to find out how much money you could actually earn as an UberX driver in Philly. Turns out you can easily make the much-touted $90k by driving 27 hours a day, 365 days a year, so good luck! Manicures in NYC stay cheap by relentlessly screwing desperately poor, often undocumented manicurists. That’s what Sarah Maslin Nir found in her impeccably reported NYT story on the booming manicure business, which is shocking even if you already sort of knew $10 was not a remotely plausible price for a manicure in New York. (Nir also did a good commentary track with VICE, if you’re a journalism nerd.) These are pure examples of what capitalism literally is: the extraction of maximum labor for minimum price from the weakest party in a transaction. If you object to the business practices in these stories, congratulations! You are anti-capitalist. Please spend and vote accordingly.


Meanwhile, there’s a new Hamburglar and he’s still making a living telling racist lies to people too ignorant and credulous to know better… no sorry, that’s right wing troll and felon Dinesh D’Souza. His Vanity Fair profile is the heartwarming story of one man’s lifelong search for a community so repugnant it would accept his awful views.

There is a new Hamburglar though, as predicted by The Onion earlier this year. His new look appears to be “hot dad with a really stupid tie.” The internet immediately debated whether he could get it, which is surely what we were supposed to do. I guess time will tell whether social media buzz translates into increased sales of crappy fast food!

…whistles briefly…

Ok that was probably enough time, so I’ll tell you: it won’t.

The Wall St. Journal found the hottest take: “David Goldberg’s Death Puts Spotlight on Risks of Treadmills.” In The Cut, Marin Cogan wrote about what happened to Penelope Trunk, if you’re interested in a “Behind The Garb” on that.

The latest edition of Austrian magazine Vanguardist is printed with HIV positive blood. While I applaud the message of tolerance, I personally only read magazines printed in clean, tested blood, like The New Yorker. Russia is in the midst of a moral panic over twerking. Rick “The Frothy Mixture” Santorum is probably running for president again, because he cannot get enough of being rejected by voters. Vulture listicled a new book about Orson Welles’s last unfinished film. It’s all pretty amazing, but most amazing is that Welles “allegedly wound up editing a hard-core lesbian shower scene that he couldn’t resist cutting in Wellesian fashion with low camera angles and other trademark flair.” Selfies Praised. Ultron Dissed. Ping Ponged. Did NASA really invent a warp drive!? Of course not, everything is a hoax.


Intern Karen is thinking about her own space program!


The first time I came across an anonymous Tumblr blog called Shit People Say To Women Directors, I couldn’t stop reading for almost an hour. Stories of female directors, producers, production assistants and every position in between treated like crap simply because of their gender. The sheer number of examples the blog’s authors said they received in their first few days was depressing, but also, sadly, not really a surprise. Here, the GIFs feel like a weak cry for how frustrating and demeaning the situation must feel for so many women.

Scaachi Koul wrote an etiquette guide for what would seem to be a very basic skill: “How Can I Talk to Women On The Internet Without Being Creepy?” But then you realize millions of men truly have absolutely no clue what they are doing is wrong.

There already is a Tumblr for terrible things said to Lady Journos, and sexism in the law profession is resulting in a huge number of women still being screwed out of pay and management roles. Which leads me to conclude that if you are not having conversations about how poorly women are being treated in the workplace and how things need to change, then you are actively part of the problem. Hopefully, Ellen Pao’s trial and are just the beginning.

Of course there are men who want things to stay the same. A significant number of them need to be crushed and fired into the sun.

Can U: Not?

Happy Holidays: It’s International Tell Your Crush Day and my DMs are open iykwim.

Today’s Song: K.A.A.N., “Concealed the Outro (fuck em mix).” Via Jia Tolentino whose writing about it is also phenomenal.

~Workers of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but your tabs!~

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