Two years later Palmer is still regrettably present, this time explaining to Forbes that her $1.2 million Kickstarter was a “loss leader” meant to simultaneously trick people into supporting her on Patreon and make them “trust the shit out of” her:
AFP: …I pretty much broke even on that Kickstarter. I did it almost deliberately because I wanted my fans to trust the shit out of me and they do.
ZOG: I didn’t realize that.
AFP: Not to mention, it adds insult to injury when I still get clueless people who understand nothing about business coming to me and asking what I did with my million dollars.
you know a week is a joke when the three people i’m supposed to sympathize for are amy pascal, don lemon, and cornel west
— Rembert Browne (@rembert) April 21, 2015
Vicious trash-monster Gurbaksh Chahal is being sued at his new company, despite a sincere attempt to found it on a firm basis of contempt and loathing for all female humans. The lawsuit basically alleges that Gurbaksh Chahal is a vicious trash-monster, but in legal terms. “Chahal’s employees” “wrote” a blog post defending Chahal and “definitely not being Chahal writing it himself.” It is the least convincing piece of sock-puppetry ever, and worth a read just to see how much of an idiot you can be, as a man, and still succeed repeatedly in tech.
imagining someone eating & screaming.. like eating a full meal and constantly screaming between mouthfuls
— steve roggenbuck (@steveroggenbuck) April 22, 2015
Today in Them: They redesigned The Atlantic, if you’re a homepage enthusiast. They found Kermit IRL. They’re making that terrible Full House reboot, but keeping the unoriginal TV quality scales balanced by making a Galaxy Quest TV series too. They’re changing the Facebook newsfeed algorithm again. They’re talking (on their Night iPhone) about selling forgotten social network Path to a South Korean messaging app. They proved there’s no link between the MMR vaccine and autism AGAIN. They’re getting kinda thirsty.
Felix Salmon filed another dispatch from his “discouraging journalists” beat. If you want to work with Droopy Dog, Fusion’s hiring, yo! Think about it! Every day you could come into work and have Felix be like “why haven’t you quit yet. There’s no future for you here.”
oh look it’s me, diaps and vapes pic.twitter.com/dUupiLDokO
— bijan stephen (@bijanstephen) April 22, 2015
Jay Z’s streaming-music-for-rich-people service Tidal is such a failure that it’s driving a revival of interest in its competitors. It is literally anti-successful. It’s like a success-ray, pointed outward. The CEO and about 25 others were fired a few days ago, to maintain Tidal’s target 1:1 employee-to-customer ratio.
I saw the greatest minds of my generation playing with cat simulators in a language they couldn’t read
— Dan Hon (@hondanhon) April 22, 2015
It’s hard to contemplate, but we’re nearing the end of April, which somehow will contain five full weeks of Tabs. I only have about a week left with Intern Avery Edison, who has been an absolute pleasure and privilege to work with. I recommend all editors email her immediately and beg her to write for you.
But she will have to move on, and we will have to find a May intern! So I’m officially opening applications now. TO APPLY: Send me an email containing two sample Tabs, one that introduces you, and one that is something you would write if you were the intern. They should be like 150-300 words-ish and please don’t make me open an attachment or look at Google docs, just write them in the email. The internship is paid, $1600 for the month, welcoming to humans of any kind, and I will take applications until let’s say this Sunday the 26th.
Little known fact: “Land of Sexuality and Contrasts” was almost the New Mexico state motto, but they went with “Land of Enchantment” instead. Now you know what that’s code for.
Today in Yesterday: For no particular reason, but have you read (or re-read) this Awl feature about Adventure Time by Maria Bustillos lately? You should.
Today’s Song: Raekwon feat. A$AP Rocky, “I Got Money“
~Only the tab eternal / In an eternal night.~