Today in Tabs: A Sadder And A Wiser Tab

Things to look at, things to read, and an inexplicable Samuel Taylor Coleridge theme. You know–an average Wednesday in Tabs.

Today in Tabs: A Sadder And A Wiser Tab
[Photos: DANIEL ROLAND/AFP/Getty Images, catdoll via Twitter, Flickr user Patrick Nouhailler]

There are only 19 more months until the next US Presidential election, so naturally the campaigning has already started because we are a diseased nation, crabbed and unwell in the deepest, guiltiest corners of the plague-pit that was once our soul. Hillary’s logo is terrible though lol! Someone even made a font out of it (sort of). While we’re at it (whyyyy are we at it?) m arco ru bio’s logo is also terrible, but that’s appropriate since m arco ru bio is terrible.


Speaking of politics and things that are terrible, Capital New York is about to become more CAPITAL, when it’s rebranded as POLITICO New York as part of a larger POLITICO EXPANSION into NEW STATES such as MA, IL, FL, and NJ–basically anywhere graft and influence-peddling can be made profitable. Yesterday POLITICO’s media bobblehead Dylan Byers posted some excerpts of a list of “the most influential political journalists” on Twitter, closing with this transparent piece of thirst-bait:

There are 1,850 names on this list. If any journalists would like to know where they stand, get in touch with us on Twitter at @dylanbyers or via email at

This worked exactly as well as you would expect.

Today in Things to Look At:
I could look at this slideshow of the glitter-bombing of ECB President Mario Draghi forever. Why Is Your Millennial Crying? This great blog post about the growth challenges posed by Silicon Valley’s “suburban chassis”, with lots of satellite views and corresponding pictures of SV’s endless strip mall hellscape. SpaceX launched a rocket yesterday and tried to land the first stage upright on a drone ship, which, like, ok Elon Musk, you’re a supervillain, we get it. Take it down a notch, bud. If I had one of these realistic giant cat head masks, I’m not saying I’d immediately use it for weird sex stuff, but I’m not not saying that either. And finally, French illustrator Thomas Lamadieu takes pictures of the vertical spaces between tall buildings and then illustrates the people that live inside them. It’s hard to describe, so just look at the pictures.

Today in Things to Read: Nellie Bowles documented the good ol’ boys of venture capital learning exactly the wrong lesson from the Ellen Pao case. His last book was a smoking-hot mess but here’s the first 26 pages of Neal Stephenson’s new book which I will only ever refer to as “Sevenses.” Jessamyn West tracked down the truth about a spurious historical reference to the “neckbeard.” Francesca Mari on the assistant economy in Dissent.

Tabs are early because I have to go to the dentist today, so I forced Avery to file her tab by the inhuman hour of 5pm, and this was the best she could do:


One of my responsibilities as the funniest person in the world is to maintain the best Twitter account on the Internet. I mostly tweet jokes and, like everyone who does the same, sometimes I get negative feedback in my mentions. Especially when I tweet puns, as I did three times in the past twenty-four hours.

I’d use this space to lay out a firm defense of puns, but other people have already taken care of that for me! In fact, way back in 1929, American Speech featured Ernest Hartsock’s “In Defense of Punning” (JSTOR archive, so only check it out if you have a log-in), and twenty years later, science-fiction fanzine Wastebasket picked up the baton with “In Defense of the Pun” by Walt Willis.

But for the definitive championing of the pun, we must turn to John Pollack’s book “The Pun Also Rises,” which re-frames puns as important and revolutionary, rather than something to respond to with a groan or ugh or whatever else you want to use to pretend you’re above delightful wordplay.

Face it: you ain’t better than wit.

Embedding my tweet doesn’t let you off the hook for that joke. Maybe puns just aren’t your strong suit?


It’s Wednesday and there are somehow still two and a half weeks left in April so I’m just going to wrap this up here and live to tab another day.

Today’s Song: Jeff Rosenstock, “You, in Weird Cities

~As idle as a painted tab upon a painted ocean~

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