The Yelp Reviews Are In For Newborn Babies And They Ain’t Pretty

The adage “babies don’t come with a manual” is clearly outdated—it’s all about Yelp reviews now.

If you had to honestly rate your experience as a new parent, where would your little screaming bundle of joy land on a five-star scale? Reminder, the key word here is… HONESTLY:

Raquel D’Apice, writer and creator of humor blog The Ugly Volvo, was inspired to give a fair assessment of motherhood after shopping around on a baby registry. “If you look stuff up online, every baby swing and stroller and Swedish booger-sucking device has an online review,” she says. “You go into this experience knowing a ton about the accessories and almost nothing about the baby itself.”

Using some of her friends’ photos for the Yelp user avatars, D’Apice, who is a mother herself but “not a newborn person,” created these spot-on reviews. Check out more of them here.KI