Comedy Central announced yesterday that the new host of the Daily Show will be Trevor Noah. The news was greeted from all corners of the `net with ecstatic cries of “literally who?” so our news explainers quickly got to work on journalism’s five familiar questions–not just “who?” but also “meet?“, “know?“, “need?“, and “Vox?“:
My report on Trevor Noah explainer coverage pic.twitter.com/Og06ZOHsWR
— Jeremy Barr (@jeremymbarr) March 30, 2015
Noah, a young South African comic, has appeared three times on the Daily Show, and is so unknown to Americans that it took nearly an entire day for Buzzfeed business reporter Tom Gara to bring us the least surprising possible development in the story: Noah has a bad Tweets problem. Currently we are in the uncertain “under scrutiny” / “facing backlash” phase of the Take cycle. Neither Noah nor Comedy Central has made any official statement yet, and so far the tone of a lot of takes is more “why didn’t he scrub his Twitter and spare us this embarrassment?” than “this monster cannot be permitted to make fun of the news!” Perhaps, says Salon’s Mary Elizabeth Williams he has “grown and matured“ in the, um, month or so since his last arguably unfortunate joke. So far Noah has avoided either lashing out angrily at critics or deleting his whole Twitter account in a huff, which already makes this one of the best-handled bad tweet crises I have seen. Tabs is standing by to bring you the response and/or counter-backlash when they happen.
In the meantime, remember: [camera turn] My friends, Twitter is like rope. Yes, it can tie people together. And yes it can be fun to use in bed. But you can also use it to hang yourself, or rig a sailboat. The safest thing is to never tweet.
Look we all have tweets we regret pic.twitter.com/9cYk83nlLo
— Michael Pielocik (@michaelpielocik) March 31, 2015
Today in Tech: Jay Z and a bunch of other super-rich musicians had a crazy press conference yesterday to announce Tidal, an expensive streaming music service no one wants, which will not solve the problem of artists not being paid what they should be for streaming.
Everyone who touches Bitcoin immediately turns into a thief or a victim, and the Silk Road story is the least plausible thing to ostensibly happen in real irl that I can remember, so it’s both no surprise and utterly dumbfounding that now DEA agent and Crichton character manqué Carl Mark Force IV has been arrested and charged with wire fraud and money laundering related to his alleged theft of over $800,000 worth of bitcoins while investigating Silk Road. I’m already drawing up the paperwork to get Sarah Jeong to cover his trial.
-act like jerks
-hard to draw accurately
-i’m scared of dinosaurs
-smell bad up close
-i can tell they’re bragging when they fly
— matt lubchansky (@Lubchansky) March 30, 2015
Paul Ford analyzed 18 years of his own email and learned that no one ever changes, and all we do is act out the same broken scripts over and over, like useless puppets who have long since given up any hope of learning or growth. Point stretched too far. Reasonable technical argument rapidly descends into crazy political argument. And “The Ghost of Grindr” is a good spooky story.
Tabs Classic™: Franzen is back, with a broadly unobjectionable essay about birds and climate change and activism. If Franzen only wrote about birds, I think we’d all be a lot happier (him included).
It’s the International Transgender Day of Visibility! Yes, the one day a year when our intern Avery Edison can be seen with the unassisted human eye. The rest of the year, special black eye drops are required that make you look like Robert Durst.
Jeez, TED talks!? I didn’t know it was going to get that dirty. Let’s try to keep this thing family-friendly from now on, ok?
Today’s Kickstarter: De La Soul is Kickstarting a new album!
Today’s Song: De La Soul, “The Magic Number“
~Advance to the tab but don’t do the hustle~
Today in Tabs is already tired. Find us on Fast Company and subscribe by email. There’s one slot left to sponsor intern Avery Edison this month, get at me if you want to do that. How high is the water, mama?