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What Seamless Would Be Like If Only It Could Reduce Human Interaction Even Further

In the sci-fi future depicted in films of the ’70s and ’80s, video phones were all the rage. Now that the reality of video calling is upon us, though, most people resoundingly prefer to reserve FaceTime for a select few, and keep everyone else at audio-visual arm’s length. We bristle at having to do customer service tasks over the phone when we scarcely rise above text message-level with our closest friends, which is perhaps why Seamless has become so popular. The online food delivery service brings meals to your door with a minimal amount of human contact. Now if only they could get that minimum down to zero.

A fake ad from The Bilderbergers, a YouTube sketch group, shows what the service would be like if it worked out all those pesky human-interaction kinks. “Seamless: No Human” adopts the helpful, chipper tone of most tech-based advertisements in showing off a new setting that allows its users to embrace isolation by getting even more antisocial than ordering without a phone call. (“Because saying ‘hi’ and then ‘thank you’ to a stranger is too much human,” goes the tagline.) The only problem the fake service doesn’t seem to optimize is when you inevitably have to make an awkward phone call to check why the food hasn’t arrived yet. Someone take the human out of that equation, please.JB