The Creative Director Douche Bag Detector Device (or C.D.D.B.D.D.) is a strangely cathartic online quiz that promises to tell you what category of douchebag your favorite boss falls into, with stunning 32.7% accuracy. Twist some digital knobs and flick a few switches to get results like the “Douchette,” who “can usually be spotted babbling words like ‘storytelling’ and ‘craft’ into her cell phone at Lululemon” or the “Manchild Douche Bag” who is a “sartorial perfect storm of insecurity, inadequacy and raging nonconformity-conformity.”
The quiz’s vintage-computer feel may be a wink at all the latest and greatest gadgets that your average douchey creative director might fetishize. Even this fake 1960s computer knows your boss is a creep: how’s that for “innovation”?
The choices in the quiz are filled with copious inside jokes, like “Implementation Surgeon” for Job Title, “fucking Swedish” for Accent and “cocaine” for Lunch Of Choice. If you work in the world of startups and too-cool-for-school agencies, the quiz will feel all too real. There are no credits, so we can only assume this ingenious device was created by disgruntled employees when they were supposed to be working. All we can say is: thank you.