It’s that time of year again, when self-satisfied jerks get up on stage and give each other awards just for doing their jobs. That’s right: The Crunchies happened last week, and they were a triumph if you enjoy tech douchebags being ashamed of themselves. “No one takes them seriously!” goes the standard excuse, but when Uber, a company currently valued at $40 billion, wins best startup it’s hard to even know what a “startup” is anymore. Anil Dash has observed that “industry awards… attempt to reinforce the power of the institution giving the award,” which, in the case of the Crunchies, means this guy:
Twitter’s Katie Jacobs Stanton left early and won’t be back. Nitasha Tiku points out that it’s convenient to blame host T.J. Miller instead of the garbage industry he was trying to mock. And Re/Code’s Nellie Bowles got a perfect kicker quote from Stewart Butterfield: “Everyone here must know that everyone is making too much money… If anyone is honest with themselves, they must think that the reward is disproportionate to the work.“
10 yrs ago, I was called a bitch…not ok. Yesterday I was called a bitch…still not ok. Let’s try moving away from that word. #stayclassy
— Gabi (@GabiViolin14) February 7, 2015
So Buzzfeed was like “hey we’re interviewing the damn President next week” and everyone was all “whoa if true” and then Vox was like “oh we did that last month, here’s part one and part two and the videos” and Zach Galifianakis was just like “lol.”
Charles Manson’s fiancée was supposedly only interested in his corpse, which I guess I’m kind of ok with? Imagine “The Physical Impossibility of Death in the Mind of Someone Living” except instead of a shark it’s the corpse of Charles Manson? Janet Jay put the “mother” back in Motherboard. Jeff Veen made it about dot me. Kurt Anderson says the 90s were the best decade which like: ugh, but also that is objectively true.
Vox’s Emmett Rensin hung out with an MRA for what was (spoiler alert:) frankly too much time. But Adam Serwer and Katie J.M. Baker dug into “MRA Gloria Steinem” Paul Elam’s past and discovered an astonishing surprise! Turns out he’s a deadbeat and an abuser who gave up his kids not once but twice! What a surprise. Also “male” backward apparently is his real name? Anyway, actually-good-#longread alert on this one.
ain’t you the baddest gal in the whole ninth grade then pic.twitter.com/d9okLMZdbO
— Tom Scocca (@tomscocca) February 6, 2015
Intern: “I wrote a poem about The Grammys but you were probably going to write about those already.”
Me: “the Whattys?”
The best part of this is she doesn’t know who Beck is and I don’t really know who Big Sean and Ariana are. Some quality intergenerational confusion here.
Instead of a song of the day, here are three full albums!
B. Dolan’s “House of Bees, vol 3” came out January 30th.
~Fed to the tabs and I hit the ground running~