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Today in Tabs: Everything is a Hoax

But what’s truly mortifying is the stuff that is (allegedly) true.

Today in Tabs: Everything is a Hoax

Everything is terrible today and I left my laptop charger in the office so I’m on a pretty tight clock here. Facebook plans on “showing fewer hoaxes.” What does that mean? First: don’t read the Facebook post, because come on. Second: read Caroline O’Donovan at Nieman Lab because she explains it all clearly and with her characteristic allergy to nonsense. And third: Matt Buchanan, while leaving the basic facts of the story for you to discover on your own, which you have now done by reading Caroline’s post, wrote an interesting meditation on the relationship between social engagement and truth.

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But is there any such thing as truth? Nicholas Cage in a comedy about Osama bin Laden by the director of Borat would be a hoax in any sane universe. So would Gary Vaynerchuk, but people still pay attention to him, even when he describes himself as “a reverse engineer. Every decision I make is predicated on what I am trying to achieve, both long term and short term.” Gary that is literally just what “making decisions” means. On Pando, David Holmes whines about “explainers” ruining music journalism with their explaining and their facts. Holmes’s bio notes that: “He is also the co-founder of Explainer Music…” As long as we still have Darius Kazemi doing things like this I’m not that concerned. Then there’s Ballghazi, if you even want to find out what that is (you do not). You do you, beardos, but this just looks terrible. And… oh jesus what is this. Babycore? No. No no no no no.


That baby is me. That is literally the face I am also making right now.
Does that make me Babycore?

Today in Capitalism: The Vermont Country Store has a surprisingly comprehensive selection of vibrators. “Just like grandma used to whittle!™” The maple syrup smell does linger a bit though. [h/t Breitbart]

The new Gawker seating chart is out, and Choire gives voice to what we all wonder, which is: “where does new Valleywag writer Dan Lyons sit when he comes to town? Is there someplace in some corner where everyone can throw trash at him for being so terrible?

Not Everything is The Worst: Jill Lepore’s New Yorker print magazine profile of Brewster Kahle and the Internet Archive is great. Jessica Hopper interviewed Bjork for Pitchfork, “casually clad in a flamingo-pink kimono, red tights, and platform high tops,” like you do. The whole thing is good but if you’re short on time, just read the last three questions, about auteurship and credit, which are what everyone is tweeting screenshots of. Broad City interviewed Sleater-Kinney for NPR, and you are probably either out of your mind with excitement about that, or don’t know what either of those things are. Rookie Mag (the one exception to my otherwise total lack of interest in teens) got Run the JewelsEl-P and Killer Mike to do their “Ask a Grown Man” segment. Honestly my dream is to be Rookie’s Grown Man someday. Call me!

The Silk Road trial just keeps getting better. Yesterday featured Ross Ulbricht’s hilariously incriminating personal diaries, which he kept on his laptop along with the Dread Pirate Roberts’s encryption keys, files that say “Ross Ulbricht is the one and only Dread Pirate Roberts,” pictures of Ross Ulbricht holding up signs that say “Hi it’s me, both Ross Ulbricht and the ONLY Silk Road founder Dread Pirate Roberts!” and so forth. Sarah Jeong and Susie Cagle’s team coverage continues on Forbes.

That’s it, my battery indicator is glowing an angry red, and it looks like I’m about to be forced into taking a nap, how difficult it is to be me.

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Today in Gnomes: Gnome Chomsky is going back into production soon!

Today’s Cephalopod: This giant Humboldt squid onboard camera footage is amazing.

~Arise, fair tab, and kill the envious moon~

Today in Tabs is on Fast Company and in email. I tweet @rustyk5 as a person and @TodayinTabs as a brand. Our Senior Contributing Editor is Bijan Stephen. I better send this quick, before my la

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