It’s time to blow some stuff up!” said Wired EIC Scott Dadich two years ago. In 2010, Dadich was hailed as “The Savior of Condé Nast,” but now that he’s graduated from savior to God-King, it appears his plan was to blow stuff up so that he could rebuild it all exactly how he wanted it and then preserve it just like that forever. Well today is Taco Tuesday, and Dadich set down his hand-painted 24 carat gold whiskey tumbler long enough to write a memo Kraglizing the new office, which was obtained by The Awl. “Please use the brand-new desk lamp we just purchased for you… I want you to be comfortable and productive… but know that the elevated platform is for your laptop, not your phone,” he gently commanded. It remains to be seen whether Wired’s staff will meekly accept Editor Business’s diabolical plan, or rise up and declare today Freedom Friday! But on a Wednesday!1
Meanwhile, at The Awl’s uptown rival Gawker, pranks are being planned by ex-guest Tabber and ex-Racket teen Alex Pareene, and the boomerangs are flying in. The former source of most of Gawker’s traffic, Neetzan Zimmerman, might boomerang back as well now that’s he’s been fired from Whisper for denying that Whisper does a bunch of semi-nefarious things which it definitely does, although it’s never been entirely clear to me why Zimmerman was to blame for Whisper lying about its use of private data.
Facebook announced “Facebook at the office,” but since Facebook was already Facebook at the office, I suspect this will be more accurately called “Boring Facebook.” Wait, I guess that’s also just Facebook? I don’t know what this is supposed to be.
Natasha Vargas-Cooper’s re-reporting of the Serial podcast continues. NVC interviewed prosecutor Kevin Urick in one part and then eventually a second part. Part one included a long and very opinionated introduction, which concludes “The justice system in America frequently doesn’t work. This is not one of those cases.” Vargas-Cooper also posted email exchanges between Urick and the Serial team and Intercept staff and the Serial team to her Tumblr, prefacing those with another lengthy introduction which includes the statement “I have a bias towards prosecutors.” ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
The new issue of Charlie Hebdo is out, and the cover doesn’t make a lot of sense. Choire says it’s dumb and bad, and it’s hard to tell whether Muslims should be offended because it’s an image of the Prophet Muhammad or because it’s just a regular racist “hook-nosed Arab” caricature. They’re very proud of it though, because free speech is super-important. Quinn Norton has a pretty good Take on the whole thing, with plenty of her characteristic radical empathy.
Seems like a real lost opportunity that the megaupload guy didn’t name his mansion the dot compound.
— Americliff (@moonpolysoft) January 13, 2015
The Silk Road case started, and accused Dread Pirate Roberts Ross Ulbricht’s defense is that he is not the real Dread Pirate Roberts! Which, lol, but also depending on how good Ulbricht was at obscuring his bitcoin transactions, could end up being hard to disprove. Sarah Jeong and Susie Cagle are covering the trial for Forbes, which is a treat! Businessweek’s Josh Brustein notes the fact that all 12 jurors say they don’t get any news from the internet, which seems surprising until you remember that the vast majority of people never get any news from anywhere.
I’m happy to announce that the new Tabs intern will be Scott Dadich’s Eames chair.
“Extirpation,” huh? Good word, Grendan Attenborough.
Today’s Toy: Five Words to Ruin a Bot
Today’s Song: Elon Green wrote about Pops Staples last album for The New Yorker, which you should read, and then listen to Pops sing “Somebody Was Watching.”
~Somebody was tabbing…~
Today in Tabs is really excited for tomorrow’s guest-tabber! Meanwhile, follow @rustyk5, read us on Fast Company, subscribe by email, and if I see you leave that coffee cup on your desk just one more time god help me I will not be held responsible for my actions.
2 Not sorry.