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Today in Tabs: Tabs Is Still a Pirate Ship

How does your office grow?

Today in Tabs: Tabs Is Still a Pirate Ship
[Photos: Flickr users Melanie Tata, Alias 0591, and ^~^Pointyears; Screenshot: via The Awl]

It’s time to blow some stuff up!” said Wired EIC Scott Dadich two years ago. In 2010, Dadich was hailed as “The Savior of Condé Nast,” but now that he’s graduated from savior to God-King, it appears his plan was to blow stuff up so that he could rebuild it all exactly how he wanted it and then preserve it just like that forever. Well today is Taco Tuesday, and Dadich set down his hand-painted 24 carat gold whiskey tumbler long enough to write a memo Kraglizing the new office, which was obtained by The Awl. “Please use the brand-new desk lamp we just purchased for you… I want you to be comfortable and productive… but know that the elevated platform is for your laptop, not your phone,” he gently commanded. It remains to be seen whether Wired’s staff will meekly accept Editor Business’s diabolical plan, or rise up and declare today Freedom Friday! But on a Wednesday!1

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Scott Dadich getting ready for another day of editing

Meanwhile, at The Awl’s uptown rival Gawker, pranks are being planned by ex-guest Tabber and ex-Racket teen Alex Pareene, and the boomerangs are flying in. The former source of most of Gawker’s traffic, Neetzan Zimmerman, might boomerang back as well now that’s he’s been fired from Whisper for denying that Whisper does a bunch of semi-nefarious things which it definitely does, although it’s never been entirely clear to me why Zimmerman was to blame for Whisper lying about its use of private data.

Facebook announced “Facebook at the office,” but since Facebook was already Facebook at the office, I suspect this will be more accurately called “Boring Facebook.” Wait, I guess that’s also just Facebook? I don’t know what this is supposed to be.

Natasha Vargas-Cooper’s re-reporting of the Serial podcast continues. NVC interviewed prosecutor Kevin Urick in one part and then eventually a second part. Part one included a long and very opinionated introduction, which concludes “The justice system in America frequently doesn’t work. This is not one of those cases.” Vargas-Cooper also posted email exchanges between Urick and the Serial team and Intercept staff and the Serial team to her Tumblr, prefacing those with another lengthy introduction which includes the statement “I have a bias towards prosecutors.” ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The new issue of Charlie Hebdo is out, and the cover doesn’t make a lot of sense. Choire says it’s dumb and bad, and it’s hard to tell whether Muslims should be offended because it’s an image of the Prophet Muhammad or because it’s just a regular racist “hook-nosed Arab” caricature. They’re very proud of it though, because free speech is super-important. Quinn Norton has a pretty good Take on the whole thing, with plenty of her characteristic radical empathy.

The Silk Road case started, and accused Dread Pirate Roberts Ross Ulbricht’s defense is that he is not the real Dread Pirate Roberts! Which, lol, but also depending on how good Ulbricht was at obscuring his bitcoin transactions, could end up being hard to disprove. Sarah Jeong and Susie Cagle are covering the trial for Forbes, which is a treat! Businessweek’s Josh Brustein notes the fact that all 12 jurors say they don’t get any news from the internet, which seems surprising until you remember that the vast majority of people never get any news from anywhere.

I’m happy to announce that the new Tabs intern will be Scott Dadich’s Eames chair.

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TODAY’S INTERN TAB, by BIJAN STEPHEN

Some things are simply irrepressible: tears of laughter, aging, death, hunger, the weather, one’s own thirst, etc. There’s something to be said for these things, something that has to do with the honesty that comes from being beyond repression.

And so! Today, I’ve got Grendan and Rachel Syme, who have both published wonderful pieces (a dispatch on deer, a profile) that you should read. NB: They’re both pretty irrepressible IRL, too.

Gren’s item is a well-reported look at the exploding deer population on Staten Island, New York’s third-largest borough.

White-tailed deer — once on the brink of extirpation in the United States — find refuge in the parks, backyards, and golf courses of suburban and exurban America. Humans are largely at fault: the way we develop things, with our fondness for cultivated, abrupt treelines, wide-open soccer fields, and the absence of hunters and predators are ideal for deer. As far as they are concerned, Staten Island — best views of the Manhattan skyline in the tri-state metropolitan area! — is as nice a place to live as any.

And here’s a snippet of Rachel’s, a deep diving look at Abbi Jacobson and Ilana Glazer, the wonderful women behind Broad City.

“You think Sumner Redstone watches Broad City? Girl. Look, we taught ourselves how to make a thing because we had no other choice. And most women never get that chance. It’s not a part of the culture. The shame about certain demographics getting more opportunities is that they simply get to hone their skills. They even get to fail. And sometimes that makes me want to set my hair on fire. When the Sony hack revealed that white dudes are still the highest paid, it was like … fucking duh.”

“That’s like an SNL sketch of what they could’ve revealed,” Jacobson said, sipping an iced coffee.

“Extirpation,” huh? Good word, Grendan Attenborough.

Today’s Toy: Five Words to Ruin a Bot

Today’s Song: Elon Green wrote about Pops Staples last album for The New Yorker, which you should read, and then listen to Pops sing “Somebody Was Watching.”

~Somebody was tabbing…~

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Today in Tabs is really excited for tomorrow’s guest-tabber! Meanwhile, follow @rustyk5, read us on Fast Company, subscribe by email, and if I see you leave that coffee cup on your desk just one more time god help me I will not be held responsible for my actions.

1 This whole paragraph won’t make any sense if you haven’t seen The Lego Movie, sorry.2 Tim Maly and Caroline O’Donovan also contributed reporting to this paragraph.

2 Not sorry.

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