today at the outlet mall there were big block letters for saying something cute in your kitchen but the only letters left were B L E A K
— Kate Losse (@katelosse) January 3, 2015
2014 is over and nobody will miss it, especially not Eric Meyer thanks in part to Facebook. It was the year we finally found out what’s updog, and it was in a lot of ways the year of Vox, for better or worse. I certainly made some mistakes in 2014, but at least I didn’t write this.
Before we leave 2014 behind forever, collectively pretending it never even existed, like some kind of thirteenth floor of the 21st century, let’s just wrap up a couple things. The New Republic Take-stravaganza finally ended (as far as I’m concerned) with Andrew Sullivan invoking a Just Asking Questions defense of his tenure as TNR editor, and being comprehensively clowned by both Jeet Heer and Ta-Nehisi Coates, neither of whom even bothered to leave Twitter to do it. And the lid of the tomb was ponderously slid into place by David A. Bell, who was a TNR intern for one year 30 years ago, and therefore merited 4,000 words in the LA Review of Books. I lost consciousness during his recap of the entire history of magazines, so who knows how it all turned out. This is it. This is The Final Take. We’re done with TNR now.
Serial’s Jay talked to Natasha Vargas-Cooper, in three parts and, well, “the reason this is so important is for two reasons: I don’t know, and… I don’t know.” Principal Kurson went in-depth on how NVC got the interview (spoiler: she knew someone who knew Jay’s lawyer).
And finally, The Interview came out, and it was terrible which you know for sure because Rolling Stone loved it and Emily Yoshida hated it. Seth Rogen was not pleased with that Verge review, which: LOL. Even though North Korea definitely didn’t hack Sony, we’re gonna hit them with some more sanctions anyway, since obviously our sanctions are hurting the right people in North Korea.
That’s it! 2014 is over! The world didn’t end and now we only have to get through six months of real winter and survive Peak Caucasity. The Dan Lyons Valleywag started with some pretty solid predictions for the coming year, and Laura Olin has a first look at the ( ⧉ ⦣ ⧉ )s you’ll be ╮(. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)╭ing at in 2015. This year will see the end of legal tiger selfies in New York, although not, I hope, the end of legal :fire: selfies. Also: David Carr fell asleep under the Take Tree and dreamed that selfie sticks somehow ended journalism. Timothy B. Lee says 2015 will be a “make-or-break year for Bitcoin,” and if you believe that I have a useless string of digits I’d like to sell you. But perhaps most discouragingly, 2015 appears to be the year we have to deal with Madonna again.
Today in Brief: El P wrote a fanfic from the perspective of Sticks from Steven Seagal’s Out For Justice, and Double-dick dude wrote a memoir. “Enhance… enhance.” The Legend of Avicii. But Then… Are you on cleek? Big Mother and the quantified self. Everything you Knuth is wrong.
“This traffic is a real basic bitch huh kids?”
“I tell ya I’m turnt about it!”
“Traffic is not bae that’s for sure!”
— Michael Pielocik (@michaelpielocik) August 5, 2014
Bijan I missed u bb!
“That’s how it’s always been,” opines the 23-year-old. You are adorable! Good tabs.
~My whole life is a dark tab. One big dark tab.~
Today in Tabs 2015 is now brought to you by actual Fast Company and your email if that ever works. Registered at the Post Office as “not just an NTK ripoff.” Tweets @rustyk5 and affiliated internet presences worldwide.