Here it is, Christmas Eve eve, what men’s rights activists know as “Christmas Adam” and atheists call “Christmas Steve.” I used to consider myself an atheist, but apparently now there is an atheist Ten Commandments, only instead of Charlton Heston we get Adam Savage. So I’m joining the Detroit Satanists (the religious freethinkers group, not the Major League Soccer team of the same name). Satanic Temple spokesperson Jex Blackmore communed with the infernal spirits and returned with the news that my new Satanic name is Snax Pentagenét, so please address me as such for all Satanic purposes from now on.
It’s the last Tabs of the year, so you know I’m not putting much work into this. This reporter burning 8.5 tons of drugs is basically me today:
So let’s check in with the Take Tree! That’ll use up a lot of space.
“Your lived experience is bullshit,” said the tree, “but
mine is a broadly relevant cautionary tale.”
(art by Alison Headley)
If you’re here looking for something good to actually read, (a) we need to talk about the proper holiday spirit, but (b) ok fine read this New York Times feature on the Stanford Class of 1994, by Jodi Kantor. It is that rarest of unicorns, the over-produced #longread that is worth actually reading. While you read it, you may be interested to learn, as I just did today, that the word “meritocracy” started as a joke. I mean an on-purpose joke.
But don’t read things! It’s Christmas Steve! Watch some Trash TV. Learn what was good in 2014 according to Laura Olin. Grab an Up Dog. Write some Draco Malfoy slashfic. Laugh at how much Columbia Journalism school costs. Play Goat Simulator. Or, if all else fails, visit Flavortown:
@rgay I heard him refer to a pizza as a “manhole cover in Flavortown,” which doesn’t speak highly of the infrastructure there.
— Joseph Hughes (@nczeitgeist) December 23, 2014
Tweets! Tweets take up lots of space! I’m calling it now, this is the Tweet of the Year:
guys guys guys guys:
what do you think
H A P P E N E D
— Sara Kate W (@SaraKateW) March 15, 2014
These last few months I think we’ve all gotten to know Bijan a lot better. I suspect that he’s headed for bigger and better things in the new year, but while we still have you Bij, what do you have to say about the end of 2014?
Thanks Bijan! See you in 2015.
| IS 2014 |
| OVER |
| YET? |
— jae (@jaesalinas) December 22, 2014
~This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a tab but a whimper.~
Thank you so much for reading this nonsense every day, or once a week, or reluctantly that one time when it confirmed all of your least charitable suspicions about your media friend’s taste, as the case may be. I technically could do it without you, but there would be little point. Thank you as well to Fast Company Labs where the tabs live on the web, and to Tinyletter who have continued sending them by email despite my far exceeding their nominal subscriber limit. Thanks to Bijan for interning, and Dark Social for everything you do. This concludes 2014 in Tabs, I’ll be back on January 5th! Till then you can follow @rustyk5 or @TodayinTabs. FELIZ NAVIBLAH!