No, 2014 isn’t over yet! There are 9 days left, which by my calculations means there will be at least 3.2 more news events that surprise us by proving that, despite all indications, our assessment of the long-term value of humanity had not yet reached an absolute minimum. This is the penultimate Tabs of 2014, so in keeping with the rest of the media I’m mostly going to be phoning in formulaic year-end wrap-ups in my increasingly brief interregna between “hungover” and “drunk again.”
I’m the world’s biggest idiot: I just googled “whats updog”
— Farhad Manjoo (@fmanjoo) December 19, 2014
If you need 2014 in a nutshell, here it is: the first mountain lion to be seen in Kentucky in 150 years was immediately shot dead. According to Rachel Syme, Kim Kardashian’s Hollywood was the most important game of 2014, and tbh Kim herself might have been the most important person of 2014. The year can also be viewed through the lens of Twitter trends, ‘net Art, Balk headlines, media mistakes, Style section articles (but I repeat myself…), or Updog. Jessica Roy even claims that 10 good things happened in 2014, but that number sounds high to me. Last night may not have been the longest night in the history of the Earth, but every night has felt like it lately.
I’m gonna show up at comedy central for the new 11:30 show and say i’m Larry Wilmore. Probably get away with it for like 2 weeks.
— Desus Nice (@desusnice) December 19, 2014
While 2015 is still slouching toward Bethlehem to be born, some things have already ended. The nine-year run of the Colbert Report, for example, ended last Thursday night, and a lot of famous people had opinions about it. Serial also ended, bringing with it a tragic end to 2014’s best new genre, the Serial Thinkpiece, but not before one final efflorescence of them: Did we get any closer to the truth? Was Serial racist after all? What might happen next with Adnan’s case? How does Rabia feel about it? (Not-really-a-spoiler: Rabia is not happy.) And Saturday Night Live’s Cecily Strong put the final bow on it with her perfect Serial parody this weekend.
Sam Biddle had dinner with Justine Sacco, the former IAC PR chief Sam helped to get fired for a bad tweet. A lot of people thought it was a good tab. Others did not! Whatever you think, it inspired Anne Helen Petersen to point me toward Tressie McMillan Cottom’s blog post “Racists Getting Fired: The Sins of Whiteness on Social Media” from earlier this month, which is worth reading, so the Wheel of Tabs grinds on I guess.
He got down on one knee and asked me to put an eggplant emoji next to his name in my phone
— grace (@gspels) December 22, 2014
Also worth reading: Jess Lowry’s “51 Minutes in a Revolving Door.” Nicholas Carlson’s book extract about Marissa Mayer flailing at Yahoo, especially for the excruciating children’s book anecdote at the end. Rachel Sklar’s call for hiring quotas in 2015. Adi Robertson’s reassessment of The Handmaid’s Tale for the Verge. And if you’re pressed for time, try Mat Honan’s first article for Buzzfeed, which appropriately enough can be read in the form of a screenshot.
You know, I have a lot of tabs about Sony and North Korea bookmarked but the hell with it. You want to know about that, I’m sure you can find out for yourself. It’s all turned into total nonsense now anyway. Bijan, you’re up.
Lol. “My friend went on vacation!” Good to see you getting into the year-end spirit Bij.
Today’s Video: George Clooney takes over Downton Abbey
Today’s Song: this Twitter essay on the history of hip hop that Q Tip wrote to Iggy Azalea
~Condemn me, it does not matter: tabs will absolve me.~