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Today in Tabs: Pax Back, Get Out the Wack Sack

Want to confuse your relatives? Talk about any of the tabs below.

Today in Tabs: Pax Back, Get Out the Wack Sack
[Photo: Flickr user Zechariah Judy]

Every time he crawls back out of the memory hole, Pax Dickinson looks and sounds a little more bloated and deranged. This time, Pax is asking for $25,000 on garbstarter site Indiegogo to start Gamergate: The Website. He’s already got contributions from weev and Justine Tunney, so this Bad Horse is well on his way to assembling his own Evil League of Evil. Surely Milo will be along any minute now. In his pitch video, a bestubbled, crazy-eyed Pax stands before the collected works of J.R.R. Tolkien and appeals to the absent hearts and Cheeto-crusted wallets of the internet’s garbage people, talking for over a minute while only blinking once. In exchange for your donation, Pax is offering literally nothing, so act now!

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Waka Flocka Flame is like: this guy again?

Bill Cosby is indisputably finished. The Coz is now a walking rape joke, with the Washington Post exhaustively recapping the accusations against him and everyone from David Carr to Ta-Nehisi Coates issuing mea culpas for not engaging with the accusations earlier. The Cosby Wall of Avuncularity has crumbled, and even the handful of women he didn’t rape are coming forward with stories of how creepy Cosby was in private. But even here, the internet does not fail to provide tabs. The Wrap posted a blog by Rich Stellar originally titled “The Rape of Bill Cosby” that was eventually retitled, prefaced, and defend-pologized-for by Wrap editor in chief Sharon Waxman but nevertheless retains every bit of its original nastiness.

Why do we hate Uber?” asks Matter’s Bobbie Johnson, before providing a long list of reasons to hate Uber, in case you needed any more. And Paul Ford looks into our horrible convenient future for Vice’s new sci-fi vertical.

Deb Chachra on what “Maker culture” gets wrong is terrific. Making things is great but so is critiquing and examining and teaching and caregiving.

Sweet Peach was not founded by those startup bros who announced it, and it is not concerned with the olfactory properties of anyone’s vagina. If you want a vision of the future, imagine Anna Wintour throwing a flip-phone at a rat–forever. RIP Aereo. Long-delayed Coin works for tens of hours, but also causes impotence: “my unit stopped functioning” admits the Verge’s Sam Sheffer.

That reminds me: what are you reading, Bijan?

TODAY’S INTERN TAB, by BIJAN STEPHEN

There’s a special kind of narcissism that goes along with youth. The young—and I include myself here—usually lack a working knowledge of (and therefore a working fear of) failure. They are blissfully unselfconscious, mostly unaware. There occasionally come inklings, though, of the future, of things more terrible and powerful. It’s a wonder that any of you Olds made it through, isn’t it?

Sarah Nicole Prickett just published a beautiful, volcanic essay on The Hairpin about the two times she’s dropped out of school, youthful not-quite-mistakes.

The first six months were heaven. I loved sex. I loved Jägermeister. I gained 10 to 15 pounds on birth control and processed cheese slices; I had never been happier. […] How it all got so bad is a blur. I blocked the door. I blacked out the basement windows. I remember myself curled in feral positions, sounds on repeat getting louder, climbing up and out of the window to piss in the grass. When I had an exam, I studied for sixteen hours, then didn’t go. I called home and my parents said they would rather I didn’t talk to my siblings.

Things got worse. Things got better. “It is because I couldn’t afford not to work—because necessity is destiny, in the end—that I was alright,” Prickett writes. “Eventually I got into a life with almost no habits and no flat horizons so that I would stay awake longer, and even now, I could only finish this essay because—clearly—I had no idea how it might end.”

A “special kind of narcissism,” huh? You’re just doing my job for me here, dude.

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Jokes by Kids: Q: What do you call a fish with no legs? A: A fsh.

Today’s Song: Presidents of the USA, “Peaches” (If I have to spend the next week with it stuck in my head, so do you.)

~It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, opening a tab… there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.~

Today in Tabs will be back tomorrow, but then off for Thanksgiving till next week. We’re on the web at FastCoLabs and in your email thanks to TinyLetter. If you have ever thought “hey how can I get my #brand in front of 7500 or so really cool people?” (that’s you guys!) then email me about sponsorship opportunities. If you have ever thought “hey is for horses lol,” then follow me on Twitter because we should probably be friends.

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