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Nick Offerman Breaks, Or At Least Dings, The Internet By Carving Wooden Emojis Into The Real World

If the Internet had to describe Nick Offerman in one word it would probably be heart-face. This week, the Parks and Recreation star went on Conan and proved that the feeling is mutual.


For such an analog guy–Offerman owns and operates a wood shop–the idiosyncratic actor certainly does know his way around the digital world. Or at least, he doesn’t mind appearing there: videos featuring Offerman show up as regularly as the changing of the tides. Perhaps its the fact of his tactile-focused nature that makes Offerman such an internet curio leading to world-colliding videos like this one in which he ostensibly carves his recent book out of wood. while that bit may have been a full-on gag, this week’s Conan appearance involved some objects that really do bridge the Internet and the physical world: wood cut emojis.


To be specific, they’re called “Nick Offerman’s Hand-Crafted Wood Emojis,” and they’re the most impressive web-based symbols you’ve seen lately. Each one is about a foot in diameter, weighs 14 pounds, and seems like the perfect gift for so many people on your Christmas list if only it were real and not a bit on a TV show. Offerman isn’t actually selling these because as the contrast of his persona and this product suggests, he probably actually thinks that emojis are poop-with-eye.JB