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Today in Tabs: Balancing a Champagne Glass on My Thinkpiece

You can check out of Kinja but you can never leave.

Today in Tabs: Balancing a Champagne Glass on My Thinkpiece
[Screenshot: via Racket Teen]

Someone finally found the key to the storage closet where departed Racket would-have-been-founder Matt Taibbi locked Alex Pareene, Edith Zimmerman, and the rest of his staff way back in August. Once released it took them approximately five minutes to create Racket Teen, which is literally the best Tumblr I have ever seen, and I don’t mean that merely to damn them with faint praise. With the latest on intelligence-news hotties like Jeremy BAEhill, exclusive Marco Rubio cover pics, and even stylish aspirational sponcon from hot #brand Ralph Lauren Horse Champagne, Racket Teen is what Racket should have been all along. Pareene & co could have launched this, even allowing for very generous weed-smoking breaks, about two days after they were hired, so I can only imagine what kind of nightmarish Event Horizon-type conditions must prevail inside the First Look offices to have prevented them from doing so.

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Wʜᴇʀᴇ ɪs PSY???

Also launching an escape pod from starship First Look is Intercept EIC John Cook, who is going back to Gawker to be their Head of Hastily-Invented Job Titles. Cook was last seen co-bylining this Intercept article about how great it is working at The Intercept. Michael B. Kelley checks in with the day’s hottest take on that move. Glenn Greenwald also posted about it, and Cook is clearly burning no bridges. Best of luck to him on his new adventure at the home of his old adventure.

Paper Mag, which despite being around for 30 years and having a Wikipedia page is somehow un-Googleable, published pictures of a naked and well-lubricated Kim Kardashian yesterday, illustrating an article that is probably made of words. Thinks were thunk: Erin Keane did an Instagram comment close-read for Salon which is more enlightening than it sounds. In The Grio, Blue Telusma excavates the racist history of that champagne picture. At press time, the internet remains regrettably un-destroyed.

It’s Thursday, and that means a new episode of Serial. Jay Caspian Kang wrote about “Serial and White Reporter Privilege” in The Awl. Paul Laudiero made a Serial parody which is a lot funnier than it has any right to be. The podcast boom continues, with former TLDR host PJ Vogt apparently getting drunk last night and doxxing the name of his new Gimlet Media project, Reply All from the bathroom of a dive bar.

Random Darknet Shopper is like Darius’s Amazon shopper but with more drugs. Bots on bots on bots. Twitter’s secret weapon is definitely not its incomprehensible new mission statement. Elizabeth Spiers is hiring an editor-in-chief for a mattress company. The 60-second Choire. In his “Hot Takes from the Jazz Age” column, Nick Bilton discovers that fame can have a dark side. Time asks which girl word should be banned, “feministis winning by an enormous margin. Maybe it’s just a coincidence!

Great Things to Read: Jenn Schiffer’s new var t;: Matisse. Jenna Wortham’s lovely, humanist “Everybody Sexts.” Elmo Keep on the Mars mission that will probably never happen.

I was terribly remiss on Tuesday in forgetting to tab the intern’s Vanity Fair interview with Anil Dash. It’s quite good. Today he brings us Adrian Chen on Anonymous:

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TODAY’S INTERN TAB, by BIJAN STEPHEN

Here’s a fact: The internet is kinder to white men. If you’ve ever spent any time on Reddit, 4chan, or, really, nearly any other site where Issues are Being Discussed, you’ll find that the prevailing assumption is that you’re a white man; if you deviate from the script by revealing your gender, sexuality, or race, there will always be at least one person who cries that you’ve only done so for Special Treatment.

Today, Superjournalist and Former Target Of Internet Hate Adrian Chen dives back into that white male id (aged 18-30, natch, an advertiser’s holy grail) and surfaces with this beautiful thing in The Nation: “The Truth About Anonymous’s Activism”. It’s a very nice story about the Anonymous “movement” that details exactly how cruel and stupid these people are while wearing the skin of a book review (Gabriella Coleman’s a_Hacker, Hoaxer, Whistleblower, Spy: The Many Faces of Anonymous_). Chen also takes on the idea of techno-utopianism—nerds know best, don’t you watch the Big Bang Theory???? BAZINGA—calling Anonymous nothing more than the philosophy’s latest shit-smelling extrusion.

Similarly, the members of Anonymous barge into issues they know nothing about and proceed with the only logic they understand—believing, as Coleman does, that their position as a technological elite gives them an innate political ability. Along the way, they are helped by a tech-crazed media desperate to find a tech angle in struggles for social justice, like Ferguson.

I can only say a prayer for Adrian’s mentions. Enjoy your Special Treatment. RIP.

Bijan’s mentions are a thirst-trap 24/7. I have a Tweetdeck column just to watch them.

TV On the Internet: I hear that High Maintenance is very good

Today’s Song: Ariana Grande & Diplo? Major Lazer? Idk who’s called what anymore, “All My Love

~I got holes in my pockets, so all my tabs fall out.~

Today in Tabs is brought to you by… mall chump? MILLCHAMP! Mile chomp, the best way to send fruit, regrets, and deliver high fives. We’re also brought to you by FastCoLabs.

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I use FastCoLabs! You do?…

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