Shingy is an older Australian gentleman huddled beneath the scalp of a sickly emo lion, whose job is to spout bullshit to terrified #brand executives who know they contribute nothing of value to the world and are merely riding a diminishing pile of money into oblivion, like starving polar bears drifting south on a melting ice floe. Shingy is extremely good at his job–he has plugged his proboscis into AOL’s cash-hole to the widely-reported tune of “six figures” a year–and the last couple days have seen a bit of a Shingaissance, with delightful profiles by Andrew Marantz on the New Yorker dot com and Maria Bustillos in Details. While Shingy himself is a big, soft, stupid-looking target for ridicule, he’s just a man who found his grift and is pumping everything he can out of it. If you think Shingy is ridiculous (and he is) why not cast an eye on the man who pays his salary, AOL CEO and notorious baby-hater Tim Armstrong. “I love the smell of this table!” Armstrong exclaims in the New Yorker. I submit that Shingy knows exactly what he’s doing, and it’s Armstrong who is the hapless, furniture-huffing idiot.
Today in Garb: Blight on trans-Atlantic relations Piers Morgan wrote that racism would end if only those people would stop using the N word. In case you thought he might at least be a well-meaning dolt, he later told national treasure Ta-Nehisi Coates to “be better,” so there’s your answer on that. Someone who works for “America’s creepy uncle who’s not allowed to visit anymore,” Bill Cosby, thought it would be a good idea to put up a tool that let users meme the legendary comedian and alleged rapist of at least 14 women. It was quickly taken down after everyone used it for its most obvious purpose. Meanwhile, crap-in-a-hat Andrew Sullivan joined #Gamergate. Tom Scocca points out that this is just Sullivan’s same old “’90s-era subroutine.”
When u win an award for yr dedication to being a thirsty rando pic.twitter.com/jip27TkzQS
— Kit Sovereign (@kitsovereign) November 11, 2014
Scocca also links former New Republic editor Sullivan to the New Republic’s current 100th birthday celebration, formally titled: “The New Republic Looks Back On a Century of Undermining the Left From Within.” Hanna Rosin is looking back on journalism’s most spectacular liar and her former friend Stephen Glass in a profile / apologia / reminiscence–a profologiscence, if you will (rhymes with “excrescence“). I get the feeling Rosin is the only writer on earth who wouldn’t have just filed “Of course Stephen Glass isn’t entitled to become a lawyer, lol” on a Post-It note for this assignment. Also in famous liars: Plagiarist and apology-profiteer Jonah Lehrer is working on a book. Please try to get your vom into the bucket, thanks.
Briefly: Egg-Freezing Party! International Jetpack Conference. The Businessweek Cover. Take Your Parents to Work Day. The rhizome and the network. Modest Meteor. The Awl redesign is live. The story of Emoji Girl. And let’s just beat this to death: Too Many Blips, Too Many Blocks, Too Many Tim Cooks.
BEHOLD, THE EVIL STICK
What evil have you found on the ‘net, Bijan?
Today’s Comix: Jaden and Friends.
Today’s Song: Lorde x Kanye, “Flicker (Kanye Rework)“
~The tabs will come out, tomorrow! So you gotta hang on till tomorrow, come what may…~