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Today in Tabs: Coming Out

On how to throw an Interception.

Today in Tabs: Coming Out

It doesn’t feel right to say that Tim Cook came out today because that implies that he was “in,” somehow, before? Cook’s sexuality has long been generally known but never publicly acknowledged, so now it is. I think we all know who Cook’s announcement is really about though: Glenn Fleishman. Glenn was crying a straight ally river for all the LGBTQ folks to sail to tolerance upon when he was rudely interrupted by another of those Gawker bullies, Ryan Tate, who pointed out that Glenn had previously said it didn’t matter if Cook was gay. Instead of just saying it was entirely Cook’s own decision whether to talk about his sexuality in public or not (which is a perfectly reasonable position and the one Glenn clearly holds!) he flipped out, and ultimately blogged his histrionic letter to Tate’s boss, Intercept editor John “No Relation” Cook, who is also a known mustache-twirling ex-Gawker. No word yet on whether John N.R. Cook has taken time out from throwing Pierre Omidyar’s lousy management under the bus to respond.

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Also out are women! On the street! Getting harassed nonstop! A video has been making the rounds showing the constant abuse and demands for attention men make on women who are just trying to walk down the sidewalk (or use the internet). You may also now find out what it’s like to walk down the street as a white man (SO accurate! So many job offers and footballs!) or as a spooky skeleton, if you want. But pretty quickly, sharp-eyed viewers like Roxane Gay and Ayesha Siddiqi noticed something strange about the video. The woman is white, and the men harassing her are virtually all black or Latino. Twitter’s slightly racist literary grandma Joyce Carol Oates was moved to deploy a well-worn synonym for “white” and wonder whether this would happen in Manhattan’s more “affluent” neighborhoods. In Oates’s defense, this seemed like precisely the response the video was crafted to provoke. In Slate, Hanna Rosin reported that video co-producer Rob Bliss said “We got a fair amount of white guys, but for whatever reason, a lot of what they said was in passing, or off camera.” Ta-Nehisi Coates took careful note of that “for whatever reason.” The other co-producer, anti-street-harassment nonprofit Hollaback! posted a statement saying they “regret the unintended racial bias in the editing of the video.” Hanna Rosin also pointed out that this topic has already been done better by Daily Show correspondent Jessica Williams. But honestly, who even has time to worry about whether this or that viral video reinforces racist assumptions, when Beyoncé is out there making our kids stupid!?

Even more people are out! Rachel Sklar “came out” as a 41 year old, single, pregnant woman. Apparently one time, at band camp… and the next thing you know she’s gravid with #content! Congratulations to her, though, sincerely. The Maine ebola nurse, Kaci Hicox, is out riding her bike around Fort Kent. This sounds alarming until you realize that Hicox has no symptoms, Fort Kent is the ass end of nowhere even by Maine standards, and moose cannot catch ebola. Josh Constine is out in the baseball riots, making it about.me with the best of them. And Rutland, Vermont’s Peter Italia is probably out of his gourd, having traveled to Guinea intending to fight ebola with “time travel and other methods.”

Today in Ghomeshi: The Toronto Star published a lot of new allegations against Canadian radio sleaze Jian Ghomeshi, and they are disturbing. “Big Ears Teddy?” Shudder. Kat Stoeffel unambiguously demolishes the “it was just BDSM play!” defense. Dan Savage interviewed a woman who reports having a consensual and satisfying realtionship with Ghomeshi, but concludes that this woman was just lucky that her kicks happened to align with Ghomeshi’s, and they had plenty of time and distance to learn that beforehand. And here is a really excellent blog post on Nothing in Winnipeg about the womens’ whisper network and how it operated around Ghomeshi for decades, friends warning away friends as best they could.

Bloomberg finally hired a couple of white men! Jazmine Hughes’s rejected author bios. Would-be ApplePay competitor CurrentC breached before it even manages to launch. Colbert on Gamergate and talking to Anita Sarkeesian. What happened in the Dyatlov Pass?

TODAY’S INTERN TAB, by BIJAN STEPHEN

Esquire: Great at trolling! They’ve been doing it since 1933, and frankly this might be their best year yet. Today I bring you a raging garbage fire of advertising and entitlement—“The Do’s And Don’ts Of Dressing To Get Out Of The Friend Zone”.

Choice excerpts:

Most guys, at one point or another, have ended up in the friend zone.

Throw on a little Blue De Chanel cologne and wait for the inevitable compliments.”

This:

Don’t: Wear a Boring Sweater

Do: Take Her to Brunch While Wearing Amazing Shades

Aside from being bad—there’s no such thing as the friend zone, shithearts—the article is wrong. Sweaters are dope. Not only are they a large part of Tabs’ editorial mission, they’re a large part of us. Sweaters are love, sweaters are life.

You mess with sweaters, and you’re messing with Today in Tabs. You don’t want that. You do not. Want. That.

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Snacktime: All the treats in Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Today’s Song: Ilovemakonnen (feat Drake) “Tuesday

~He said let’s get out of this tab, drive out of the city, away from the crowds~

Today in Tabs is off tomorrow! Have a spoopy and creppy Hallowe’en! We are brought to you by FastCoLabs and your email, and I tweet @rustyk5. Want to sponsor us? Email me!

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