You’re in Paris, and suddenly you fall in love. You never intended it. In town for business, you just wanted a cup of coffee when your eyes met hers across a cafe. Your heart flashed with all of the sexy French uncertainty of a Godard film. And right as you stood up to say hi….
A ZOMBIE BITES HER NECK. OH MY GOD. ZOMBIES! THERE ARE ZOMBIESSSS IN PARIS!!!!
Now if you have the Zombie Safe Zone Paris Map Poster ($18), by Toronto studio Design Different, your new crush is still dead–well, soon-to-be-undead I guess–but you know that your best path of egress is to Écrins National Park, a five-hour, 34-minute journey that would be fraught with peril. The good news is that upon arrival, the park welcomes you with natural spring waters that are loaded with an abundance of trout, pike, ibex, and marmots. From the 13,000-foot mountain peaks, the fall of civilization as you know it doesn’t look so bad. And as you breathe in another gulp of high-altitude, zombie-virus-free air filtered by endless alpine pastures, you think to yourself, boy, I’m really glad the French government passed the necessary legislation to protect these 354 square miles of idyllic paradise that is all that’s left of planet earth.
That’s what the Zombie Safe Zone maps are really about. They’re a cheeky homage to the state forests and national parks around the world, with posters for each city charting an escape route to lush pastures. And they’re available in cardstock for cities including London, Berlin, Barcelona, Los Angeles, Milwaukee, Houston, Seattle, San Diego–okay, look, there are basically a whole lot of cities if you want one.