Today in Tabs: Tech vs. Art

Also: Rusty discloses, Bijan proposes, it’s all hoaxes. (Bijan doesn’t propose.)

Today in Tabs: Tech vs. Art
[Photo: Flickr user Syntopia]

Who wants some really good news? Tough! Because I don’t have any. Instead I have the news that
ebola could soon become endemic in West Africa. By January, we can flip a coin and call it heads or 70% fatal hemorrhagic tails. Who knows! Who also knows what the Earth’s climatic future is like? There could be standing water in London by 2100, Alaska could be the new hipster mecca, but at least someone finally put a stop to that whiny polar bear. “Waah the ice is melting, boo hoo I can’t hunt seals…” Yeah sure buddy, get in the van. The way things are headed, Lonesome George is probably glad he checked out before the Galápagos’s Finest could arrest him too. If you’d like to salvage something from the day you couldn’t get anywhere in lower Manhattan, check out Hallie Bateman‘s live-sketches from the Climate March.


But enough bad news! Did you know we’re… oh, I guess we’re also bombing Syria. It’s surprising that after three and a half years of sitting out the Syrian civil war we seem to have entered it with massive airstrikes against Assad‘s most powerful enemies. That was… unexpected! Just the kind of “switch it up” surprise policymaking that Obama has also shown in his approach to “closing” Guantanamo Bay and “eliminating” nuclear weapons.

This Pitchfork review accuses #buzz band Alt-J of being clickbait somehow, so good to know that’s spreading. The creepy world of Instagram stolen-baby-photo role-play is still with us despite having been comprehensively doxed by Daily Dot last November. Crushing Bort and Blippo Blappo got an Esquire byline in their apparently still fruitless effort to make anyone hold human Xerox machine Fareed Zakaria accountable for his plagiarism. Alessandra Stanley defended herself in Margaret Sullivan‘s column by saying “I didn’t think Times readers would take the opening sentence literally because I so often write arch, provocative ledes that are then undercut or mitigated by the paragraphs that follow.” Her defense is she never thought anyone would believe the actual words she wrote. To be fair, this was a perfectly reasonable assumption given the past believability of words she has written. If only we could all be Paul Ford‘s “Perfect Writer,” but alas only I can be that.

Emily Gould used the Alaska weed reporter story as a jumping-off point to remind us about the time she dramatically quit her job and speculate about why that may not have gone so well. If you are not Emily but still want to quit your job, this how-to guide may be slightly more useful.

Of course the three-boob girl isn’t real. Everything is a hoax!

Tech Vs. Art: The amazing Jenn Schiffer just launched the to explore the intersection of tech and art. Or tech via art. Or art via tech? I’m not sure but it’s awesome. She started by building a Mondrian generator in javascript. Cuddlr is a 100% real app for creepy manbabies and the hopelessly twee to hook up and have awkward simulated intimacy. Art history is full of women who just want to be left alone. Apple‘s design is a boring wasteland of aluminum and glass now. Did you know that throughout history, our most iconic photography has been almost completely devoid of John Malkovich? Well now you can!

The most surprising thing in this Jon Mooallem story about Larry Ellison buying the Hawaiian island of Lanai is that the island has almost always been owned by someone.


Today in Conflict of Interest: Kate Losse‘s book The Boy Kings is the featured selection on Oyster this week! It’s a good review and a great book and you should read it. [Disclosures: Kate Losse is a friend. The Oyster editor who wrote the review, Kevin Nguyen is also a friend. I will probably get a free Oyster membership, although not for including this tab. I want my friends to succeed so I probably promote them in here more than would be strictly objective. I am a well-off straight white male American and therefore bad for both the human and natural worlds. I use more than my share of everything. These words are displacing the words of someone more deserving but less well connected. I frequently have uncharitable thoughts about people who are just trying their best.]

Speaking of people who are trying their best:


I recently finished reading Archipelago Books’ new translation of Frankétienne’s 1968 novel Ready To Burst. It’s a frenetic, aching look at life in Haiti under François Duvalier’s regime, one that manages to disorient and entrance in its documentation of everyday brutalities.

The book has almost nothing to do with today’s tab, which is about the continuation of the Clinton dynasty via Chelsea. “What Should Chelsea Clinton Name Her Baby?Adam Lerner asks, going on to suggest—humorously? I hope?—that the Clintons should give their newly-hatched spawn a name that polls well in Iowa or New Hampshire. He doesn’t, unfortunately, address my question: Why should Chelsea Clinton name her baby? It’d be metal as heck if she didn’t. Metal enough to make me vote for them.

Anyway, Rusty, sorry this is long. Actually I’m not, but it seems like the right thing to say?

“I wash myself in tears. I quarantine my sorrow. And then I attempt to laugh from the margins of myself.”— Frankétienne, Ready To Burst

Wow, Bijan you have outdone yourself in pretentiousness today, which is saying a lot since yesterday you finished by writing in actual Latin. Semper ubi sububi.

Today’s Song: Prince, “Funkenroll“. Meh, tbh.

Today’s Other Song: New Kendrick Lamar! It’s called “i”. It is :fire_emoji:


~I tab myself~

Today in Tabs is late so let me just say: Fast Company / Subscribe / @rustyk5