@goldman working my way through a giant bag of Doritos. I’ll catch up with you later.
— dick costolo (@dickc) September 17, 2014
I think the entire internet is high today. First, libertarian waxwork Peter Thiel said that Twitter management smokes too much weed, which ok that’s fair, but this is coming from the dude who thinks seasteading is a good idea when he’s sober. A pro-marijuana group in Denver put up billboards that look like a regretful Maureen Dowd trying to write her way through her legendary hotel room freakout. Washington, D.C. opinion-whore Lanny Davis wrote a defense of NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell that, according to CNN, no one is even paying him for? Dude is definitely baked. It goes without saying that everyone involved in the Occupy Wall St. Twitter account lawsuit is high. If you’re too high to even dress yourself, now you can wear The Suitsy, a onesie that looks like a suit. Waka Flocka Flame‘s job is basically to be high, so hiring a blunt roller for $50,000 is more like bizdev than anything else, but still. Even this cat is high. Everyone just needs to lie down and eat some cookies and chill out for like eight or nine hours.
The Mt. San Antonio College Journalism School is shutting down its print newspaper because “no one at the school ever seemed to read it or even care that it existed.” Instead they’re moving all their work onto Medium so that no one on the whole Internet can read it or care that it exists. If you’ve got what it takes to have your hard work ignored by billions of internet users, Matter is offering a $10,000 International Reporting Fellowship. Matter is like a special section of Medium where everything isn’t total garb.
Servicey: How to delete the blood sweat and tears of some Irish guys. How to poop. How to quit a program in Windows. How to make $1.3 million a year on Youtube (when you’re 8). How to take a good selfie. How to name things. How to spend money. How to be a #teen. How to wear a sweater. How to make a man behave properly.
A guy at this coffee shop just complimented me on my “cool bird tattoo” pic.twitter.com/AL8kuspzUw
— Summer Anne Burton (@summeranne) September 16, 2014
In The Times, Butts.
Elon Green wrote about the mystery of an infamous picture of Ronald Reagan for the Awl, and made the process of not really learning much just as interesting to read as any answer could have been.
Inspired by XOXO, occasional guest-tabber Tim Maly wrote about who gets to be a “maker” and it’s genuinely troubling but worth a read.
Today’s Intern Tab: What’s the difference between a Random Act Of Journalism and a Drive-By Thinkpiece? Trick question, they’re both gratuitous ploys for your clicks and, presumably, for your attention. Today’s Intern Tab™ somehow manages to be worse than both: James Franco is publishing a new book next week, and TIME dot com has an EXCLUSIVE EXCERPT. Spoiler: It’s really fucking bad.
But then it changed, once again, when I arrived
Because I waz the electricity that shocked dem
Into place, you see how that happened?
They was hot young things with skillz of sex
That I brought to the fore, and galvanized.
“Skillz of sex,” ladies and gentlemen. Skillz of sex.
Ok, thanks Bijan. That was unbearably terrible. You’re fired forever for making me read James Franco’s alleged “words.”
Today’s Inspirational Loudgif: Crank this bad boy up and get some!!