It’s tough to know how men are supposed to greet each other these days. The handshake held sway for a long time, only to be displaced by some variant of unclenched palm-touching, whether it be the high-five, a mere slipping of skin, or that weird interlocking thumb-snap thing. Fist bumps are popular too, but they feel ironic, somehow, and not everybody is on board. One can only imagine, however, the difficult time Channing Tatum is going to have getting the word out about the greeting he apparently invented on the set of 22 Jump Street: the Dick Graze.
Arriving several months after the film hit theaters, and several more until its November DVD release, a new Jump Street-derived video features Tatum’s swagger-filled introduction to your new favorite salutation. It’s a short, Lonely Island-style clip about the fashionable act of lightly touching another man’s genitals to let him know you are mega-bros. “Just a little handshake between gentlemen,” Tatum raps, affectionately, “but it’s a boys’ club/ no women, friend.” That’s right: for women who want in on the grazing action, there’s something else to run one’s fingers over like dainty ladyfeathers. Tatum’s Jump Street costar Jillian Bell is on hand to proselytize the benefits of the Tit Graze, which is exactly what you imagine.
Rounding out the video are cameos from Diplo and Jump Street directors Chris Miller and Phil Lord. Watch it and spread the gospel of this fun, new (ONLY CONSENSUAL AND NON-THREATENING, PLEASE) trend as it continues to blow up like an undercover police car in a shoot-out.