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Just a Fairly Accurate Portrayal of How Michael Bay Might Have Directed “Up”

Those first 10 minutes would’ve been SO different.

In a new version of the trailer for a beloved, five-year old Pixar film, shit blows up real good. If that description doesn’t sound quite right, it isn’t. It’s an alternate universe take on what the movie Up might’ve become in the hands of a director with a particular set of skills.

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Michael Bay is a cinematic punching bag. Critics both professional and hipster division constantly throw jabs and hooks his way when discussion turns to what’s wrong with movies these days. (And also the last 15 years.) This antagonism goes both ways, however, since Michael Bay’s movies are full-frontal assaults on viewers’ senses. And even if audiences can opt out of voluntarily seeing these films, they may still have to contend with trailers, which are loud pyrotechnical epics in miniature. Seeing Up with this treatment only serves to make the movies it’s usually assigned to that much more ridiculous.

Created by Redditor A_Doll_Hit_Her, the fake Up trailer bears all the distinctions of a Michael Bay monsterpiece. Sound design is a huge part of it. There’s a constant low thrum at first, with occasional deep bass moans that punctuate some dramatic imagery from Up–at least until the Linkin Park song kicks in. Every scene with any hint of action is trotted out and amped up. When a curmudgeonly old man’s balloon house sails through rocky, mountainous ridges, it’s treated like a climactic battle betwixt nature and the Gods. At a certain point, random explosions are overlaid over everything. One of the film’s main characters even explodes for absolutely no reason. The net effect of these changes is that a beloved Pixar film is, um, transformed into a generic summer movie festival of excess.

For the sake of comparison, and no other reason, have a look at the actual trailer for Transformers 4: Age of Extinction below.

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