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Uruguay's Suarez Made Twitter Suck, Now He's Banned From World Cup For Biting

Luis Suarez of Uruguay reacts when he bit Italy defender Giorgio Chiellini

[Photo by Matthias Hangst, Getty Images]

With World Cup mania in full swing, if there is one lesson we've learned, it is that biting other people is bad. You know it. Your 4-year-old niece knows it. Your dog learned to know it. And now, maybe, Uruguay's Luis Suarez knows it now that FIFA has doled out his punishment for pressing his teeth into the flesh of another human on international television: He's out for nine international matches and cannot play the beautiful (non-delicious) game at all for the next four months.

Or maybe he won't learn anything! Especially considering this wasn't even Suarez's first time biting another player on the pitch. (It's the third in his career, for those at home keeping score.) On the bright side, though, maybe it will stop dumb brands from seizing on the spectacle for transparently dumb grabs at attention on Twitter with the same joke, like so:

In conclusion: Biting bad. Bad brand jokes bad. Bad bad bad.