Let Stephen Hawking Explain England’s World Cup Chances, Using Theoretical Physics

The key to sports betting is exploiting whatever fresh intelligence is available in advance, which is why gamblers might want to listen up when the world’s smartest living human, Stephen Hawking, has information about the World Cup.

Online bookmaker Paddy Power, whose ads tend toward the controversial, plays it safe this round, by harnessing Hawking for some pre-Cup predictions for England. The world-renowned physicist uses a technique called General Linguistic Regression Modeling to determine factors like what color kit the players should wear and what nationality of referee they should hope for, in addition to climate and time of play.

Despite the instant gravity conferred by the sight of the wheelchair-bound professor, the ad is rather light in tone. Hawking introduces himself as someone more qualified to make predictions than Paul the octopus, as he speaks on optimal conditions for England’s success and scoring in a penalty shootout. Best of all, however, is hearing that computer-voice offer pearls like, “As we say in science, England couldn’t hit a cow’s arse with a banjo.” One need not venture near the theoretical to get at why this is a fun video to watch.

Let us know your World Cup predictions in the comments below.JB