The clown-prince of Twitter, Rob Delaney, devoted the title of his first book to making fun of the faux-humble, yet blatantly self-important way some people describe themselves on Twitter. As such, Rob Delaney: Mother. Wife. Sister. Warrior. Falcon. Yardstick. Turban. Cabbage. is a rather accurate parody of a very real problem. Some people even go a step further and infuse their business cards with this kind of language, hastening the era of the “Social Media Ninja.” What’s more interesting, though, is going the other way–rather than adding grandiose embellishments to one’s job title, removing all pretense to reveal stark truths about the position.
The jokesters at Someecards have created a series of brutally honest job titles to restore order to a world gone mad with euphemism. Each entry stares deep into the soul of a modern job title and reduces it down to the main task for which its bearer is responsible. “Head of IT,” for instance, is now transformed into “Director of Turning Things Off and Back On,” a tactic that even the least computer-savvy individuals have learned works most frequently.
These titles are displayed in a variety of different ways, from office door etchings to the ID badges hung around necks at most conferences. Good luck trying not to think of alternate takes of the next business card or desk nameplate you come across today.
Have a look through more titles in the slides above, and let us know your own brutally honest job title in the comments below, if you think you’re up to that kind of objective self-assessment.