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There Is a Chance That The Grammy Awards May Have Gone To Macklemore’s Head

The musician who won Rap Album of the Year has just made an Instagram video about proper urination technique and it is not okay.

There Is a Chance That The Grammy Awards May Have Gone To Macklemore’s Head

I have a housemate who always leaves the toilet seat up. He probably won’t ever read this post so I feel comfortable writing it, but if he does–good! You’d think that after decades of sitcom-y jokes about doofy dudes leaving toilet seats up, today’s men would just know that this is a bad thing and avoid doing it. But that is not so. In reality, way too many men live down to the stereotypes about bathroom habits and also every stereotype, and I guess by virtue of not wanting to have a terrible confrontation with my housemate, I am silently validating these stereotypes. While I wish other members of my gender were better bathroom users, though, I am not going to film myself singing about it; mostly out of common decency, but also because Macklemoe just proved this is not a good look.

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Apparently someone thought we needed (mackle)more videos in the world exhorting men to pee properly. Now we have exactly (mackle)enough of them. A short video surfaced on Macklemore’s Instagram earlier today and it’s now making a (5, 4, 3, 2, 1) splash online. In the video, the Grammy award-winning rapper urges conscientious urination the only way he knows how: in sing-song Jamaican patois.

“ITS TIME THAT US MEN STARTED RESPECTING TO THE BASIN THAT OUR QUEENS SIT ON!” Macklemore writes on his Instagram page, in no way doing himself any favors. “LETS RAISE THE NEXT GENERATION TO HAVE BETTER AIM SO WOMEN DONT HAVE TO PEE & POOP ON OUR PEE!”

Like most well-intentioned failures, the creator’s heart was possibly in the right place–one of wanting to make the world more pleasant for women–but we’ll never know because the video is gross and a failure. Nobody ever needs to see a toilet full of pee clogging their Instagram or Twitter feeds. As of this moment, though, 85K Instagram users have “hearted” the post, endorsing Macklemore’s (mackle)mandate for better bathroom etiquette. Or maybe they just liked seeing his head directly next to a toilet.