Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, Sugar Is Sweet, And Century 21 Made Some Non-Rhyming Valentine Poems

With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, the pressure to romantically perform is at a seasonal high. Epic dates, heartwarming gifts, gestures of love. These things don’t just materialize out of thin air. One of the most effective ways to show someone how much you love them is to write a poem. You can’t hide in a poem. It’s all or nothing. You’re laying your heart–and mind–on the line.

But with a new campaign, Century 21 and agency Mullen are here to put your mind at ease. Poems don’t have to rhyme. Just ask William Carlos Williams. The agency and real estate company roll out some property-based prose for us to digest.

“Roses are red/Violets are blue/Having a huge custom fireplace makes your wife love you more.”

“Roses are red/Violets are blue/If your house has romantic ocean views, you’ve got swagger, playa.”

“Roses are red/Violets are blue/If you’ve got an imported tile whirlpool tub “date night” is absolutely solved.”

The Valentine’s Day push is the latest example of Century 21’s offbeat, culturally attuned approach to marketing–the brand has marked Halloween by advertising slightly haunted homes and created a listing for the White family home on Craigslist to coincide with the finale of Breaking Bad.

It’s a solid move by the brand to empathize with the pressures of the Valentine industrial complex, but relying on it for love poetry is like asking Neruda to sell your house.JB