How is watching porn like warfare? According to a truly epic, four-minute video production narrated (and featuring the occasional talking-head cameo) by Brigham Young University-Idaho president Kim B. Clark, the biggest similarity is that unless one is backed up by a band of brothers willing to carry one off the battlefield when wounded, it’s impossible to survive alone.
That’s the basic theme of the video, which was posted to the school’s Housing and Student Living YouTube page on Thursday. The video intercuts shots of a young man staring at the screen of his MacBook Pro through hollow eyes as his roommates walk past his door with footage of that same young man wearing fatigues and dog tags in a jungle somewhere, moaning in what we’ll assume is pain and holding what we’ll assume are his wounds as he lies against a tree, while his buddies fire their rifles at an unseen enemy. It goes on to offer some suggestions that would probably lead to uncomfortable conversations: “If you need to, talk to your bishop–tell someone who can do something that you have a friend in trouble,” Clark suggests as a video shows the young, porn-addicted fella being led into an office by a friend who apparently started complaining about his roommate’s excessive masturbation to people in authority.
It’s definitely a weird video, but it all seems to work out for the fella in the end: Apparently after the talking-to he received from the folks in charge, he gets to hang out and play pool while hanging out with real, live girls, so there’s a light at the end of the porn-filled tunnel for one guy.
The video, unsurprisingly, has earned snickers across the web and TV, prompting BYU to issue a statement defending it, saying: “[We] regard addiction to pornography as a harmful and destructive vice. We also regard each other as brothers and sisters who believe we have a Christian obligation to watch out for the spiritual and physical well-being of those around us.”