Poor Santa. First he’s called out for the fictional color of his fictional skin. Then he’s revealed as a not-so-secret communist. Well, just to prove that anyone can appropriate the character of a jolly fat guy first popularized in fourth-century Turkey, the American Civil Liberties Union has released a video casting the ceremonial figurehead of global consumerist culture as the National Security Agency.
It’s sort of funny. See, over the years, Santa’s warm fuzziness has been tempered by his creepiness factor. Songs like “Santa Claus Is Coming to Town” revealed Santa’s list-making methodology to be a bit far-reaching, and perhaps somewhat fascistic. The Department of Homeland Security has also been known to draft extensive lists of words that might indicate whether someone’s emails are naughty or nice, while Edward Snowden showed that the NSA monitors a sweeping range of people, regardless of naughtiness or niceness. Also, if you plug “National Security Agency” into an anagram solver, you get “Santa account eerily tying,” which, I don’t know, sounds ominous.
That’s where the comparison ends, and hopefully ends forever, because while Santa may be a real societal construct, he is also, you know, not real. And frankly, all this Santa-as-a-news-item is making my head spin. Does the ACLU truly think that Santa is a good vehicle for meaningful discussion on the overreach of government surveillance into the private communications of its citizens, and non-citizens, even?
That said, certain rumors are brewing that Santa might deliver presents by drone this year.