On a long enough timeline, pretty much every character on every TV show finds a love interest. Even as he spiraled ever deeper into a murdery meth inferno of his own creation, Breaking Bad’s Jesse Pinkman somehow managed to get into two full-on relationships. Weirdly, though, nobody on any TV show ever seems to meet their partners the way that at least 38% of Americans choose to date: online.
Online dating isn’t ignored altogether on TV shows. Even back in the early-2000s, Six Feet Under’s David Fisher was steadily cruising a pre-Grindr Internet for potential hookups or something more. Mostly, though, online dating is seen as a lark for TV characters–something wacky their friends convince them to try for an episode, mostly as a vehicle for presenting a parade of exaggeratedly terrible suitors and suitorettes before an in-person meet-cute takes place. If these characters aligned more closely with the habits of actual real-life daters, though, they would have online dating profiles for way more than one episode. And if one web-savvy fan-fictioner is to be believed, they’d be largely undatable.
Online magazine The Connectivist put together a collection of OKCupid profiles for TV characters, and it isn’t very flattering. As it turns out, Arrested Development’s Lindsay Bluth Fünke is just as materialistic as she seems on the show, while The Office’s Dwight Schrute is as self-aggrandizing and weird. Unlike the legend of most online daters, however, at least none of them seem to be hiding their glaring flaws.
Have a look through the rest of the profiles in the slides above, and let us know which TV character you think definitely has an online dating profile in the comments.