Infomercial actors–you know, the ones depicting whatever problem the featured product is meant to solve–always look as though they’re on the brink of unfathomable despair. The thought of losing another sponge to the tyranny of cheese grater clean-up appears to send them on a downward spiral. “Why isn’t there a better way?” their strained faces unmistakably communicate while they all but shake a fist toward the heavens. It’s a particular strain of melancholic yearning that often manifests in other mediums, like the music of Stephen Patrick Morrissey. Now, somebody has put the two together, and it’s a match made in mope-heaven.
YouTubers Joyo and AbsoluteDestiny put together a supercut of the exact moment from many different infomercials wherein a deeply first world problem has ruined someone’s life, and scored it with a song by The Smiths. Which Smiths song? How about: the perfect one for this video. That would be “Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want,” which non-fans would be familiar with from the museum scene in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.
In that film, the song accompanied an existential moment for sidekick Cameron Frye. Although we’ll never know whether Cameron eventually got his act together, post-cathartic car-crashing, at least the last minute of the infomercial compilation sees the same people from the first part of the video pulled back from the brink by a thing you can purchase for just three easy payments of $14.95. If the crux of your problems this morning is an inability to find a quick laugh, suffer no more.