10 Of The Corniest Products On Fab.Com: Blood Sausage Pillows, Christ Kites, And More

In the world according to, good design can be everywhere from a beef jerky to dildos. But sometimes its democratic approach gets, well, too democratic. Here are ten of Fab’s most questionable curations.

advertisement, the online curator and retailer of goods for the design-minded consumer, is growing at an astonishing rate. In just two years, Fab cofounder Jason Goldberg has garnered one $40 million investment round, then another for $150 million–gathering up $325 million total for a $1 billion valuation. It has expanded rapidly overseas, but in its breakneck quest for world domination, Fab has picked a few products that could work just as well on the shelves of your local shopping mall’s Spencer’s. Our favorites are below.


Read where this all started and where it’s headed in Danielle Sacks’s story on and its founders from the October 10th Annual Innovation By Design issue of Fast Company, here.

Then, when you’re done checking out these products, play our interactive game, in which you decide for yourself where a whole mess of other oddball Fab products fall on a taste matrix.

1. Scary fairy

Heartless Machine assembles modern-day relics, such as reclaimed industrial accessories, into artfully eccentric reconfigurations. Take this set of the Tooth Fairy’s unauthorized dentistry instruments featuring tooth powder, painkiller bottles, various extractors, real human teeth, coins for slipping underneath pillows, and a magic wand for good measure. Definitely not recommended for actual children. $1,590

2. What’s your sign?

Do you wear your heart on your sleeve and willingly divulge your biggest secrets, because you’re just an open sort of person? Or do you live a life of solitude, full of fear and loathing for new people? Either way—or both ways—the Open Closed Necklace is for you. $32


3. Milk? Sugar? Civil rights?

Nelson Mandela, Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King Jr. What better way to celebrate their gifts to humanity than by boiling them in effigy? Sex & Tea & Rock Party Pack attaches paper dolls in the likeness of iconic rock stars and peacemakers (John Lennon and Michael Jackson, to name two more) to teabags. This is the closest Che Guevara will ever get to joining the Tea Party. $21

4. The working dead

Funko’s Wacky Wobbler Walking D Zombie livens up any cubicle, resurrecting the lighter side of workplace culture for anyone who plants this pint-size zombie on his or her desk. It has all the fun of a Hummel or bobblehead figurine with twice as much date-repellent. $12.50


5. Bat dreams

You’re 98% convinced you’re a furry. But you want to sleep on it. Bam. Bat Kigurumi doesn’t just let you go to bed with a stuffed animal, it lets you go to bed inside of one. Kigurumi comes from a combination of two Japanese words: kiru (to wear) and nuigurumi (stuffed toy). Because that’s all you need to know about how Japanese works! $39

6. Ostrich-size

Naps increase productivity and just generally make the world a better, brighter, and more bushy-tailed place. That’s why the Ostrich Pillow isn’t just a pillow for your whole head that you wear like a helmet. Wait. Yes it is. $99


7. A cute angle

We’re not sure why this BMX bike jump ramp is so soft or why it has a moisture-resistant liner. It says it’s supposed to open up a world of possibilities for new positions, but when we set up the Wedge and Ramp Combo Black Label from Liberator and tried to jump a row of interns, it didn’t even help us pop a wheelie. $245

8. “In-tents design”

You’re in the woods enjoying nature. Sure, there are some ominous bear tracks in the area, but you’ll be safe tonight in your Picnic Perfect Tent by FieldCandy. Designed to look like a massive, delicious sandwich. $785


9. Sweet (hot) dreams are made of these.

Really all you need to know about the Blood Sausage Pillow by Aufschnitt is that it does not smell like blood sausage. It’s made of wool knit fabric and a cushy foam core. Not blood. Or sausage. Or blood sausage. Again: no meat smell whatsoever. $51

10. Crucifixed Wing

Want to get God’s attention? Tickle his be-sandled toes with this six-pack of kites bearing the image of his only begotten son. There’s really no better way to send a message of praise into the heavens. Assuming Mother Nature cooperates and the wind is right. $66


About the author

Tyler Gray is the former Editorial Director of Fast Company and co-author of the book The Sonic Boom: How Sound Transforms the Way We Think, Feel and Buy (Houghton Mifflin Harcourt), out in fall 2014. He previously authored The Hit Charade for HarperCollins and has written for The New York Times, SPIN, Blender, Esquire, and others