The email was compelling–a personal note from Jared*, a man I like and respect. He had taken over from me as president of the board of an organization and was asking me to attend their annual dinner and give money as a sponsor.
When I was on the board, the money I gave to the organization each year represented my largest charitable donation for the year. But I’m off the board now and I haven’t given much. I was feeling guilty even before I received Jared’s note. When I read it I felt even worse.
His note reminded me that he took over from me as president when I left, making it easier for me to leave. He wrote that the dinner was honoring a fellow board member, and that, as a former president, it would look good for me to attend and be a sponsor.
Jared is right on all counts. He’s a good guy and was not, in any way, putting undue pressure on me or trying to make me feel guilty. He was simply making a reasonable request.
Which is what made it so hard to say no.
It’s not that I disapprove of the organization or its leadership; I’m supportive of both. It’s just that when my wife Eleanor and I reviewed our calendars and our planned giving for the year, this wasn’t something that fit in. It’s not that we couldn’t go or give the money. It’s just that given all our competing obligations, we didn’t want to.